toilettereads: November 2014

Also, a video showing other books I got in November:

Not that I read a whole lot or anything. I fell sick for the first week of November, and while you might think that such a situation would've been a perfect opportunity to catch up on my reading, whooo boy, lemme tell you, it totally wasn't. This was the kind of sick with a high fever that induced a migraine for two days. It was not cool at all. Nevertheless, I at least still managed to get some reading done.

Deets under the cut, and no spoilers, so it's all safe.

In which there is a video of me showing some recent book acquisitions.

I've never filmed a book haul before -- or any haul, for that matter. The extent of my ~*~hauling~*~ has always just been on this blog, and it typically involved makeup. Somehow I feel just a little more comfortable talking about books than makeup, at least verbally.

Editing this was such a nightmare though. There was just... so much... of my face... I wanted to puke. Seriously, and I think this needs to be said, but YouTubers who make videos of themselves talking or whatever for a living have got some serious self-confidence. Maybe they're just used to it, but I do believe you've got to have at least some degree of self-love to edit videos of yourself without it being extremely uncomfortable. I hardly have any love for myself, but the fact that I managed to put this up in one piece should at least be saying something, right?

I'd also like to reiterate that most of these books were not bought at full price nor were most of them brand new. Out of the pile, about 6 were brand new, one of which still had a small discount. So I think that explains the excessive number of books (and I need not repeat my Battle Royale story, though mentioning it is enough of a perpetuation). Compared to a lot of other booktubers though, this number of books in three months is nothing. I've seen several others who have amassed so much more than this in just ONE MONTH. (In one other person's case, just THREE DAYS. Let that sink in for a moment.)

I dunno about you, but talking about books is really enjoyable. I also feel like book hoarding is a lot more justifiable/a lot less susceptible to judgement than makeup hoarding, because at least books are more... brain-stimulating, so to say. And books have a much longer shelf life, too. Literally, because unlike makeup, books have no expiration date.

On Life and Blogging and Blogging About Life

Recently, I've come to realize that I much prefer blogging without any social media syncing. I used to post on my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter accounts as soon as a new blog post was up, and then I stopped doing so on Instagram. Then Facebook. Then all three altogether. I know why I stopped syncing posts with my social networking platforms (a reason I can't disclose here), but I've found that I enjoy blogging a lot more when I know people won't find my posts now unless they actually go to my blog of their own accord (or if they're subscribed to my RSS feed or something).

I never blogged for attention, and if anything I only synced my posts to share with my friends, but now I feel so much better just really, truly blogging for myself. I stopped blogging for a while, though I don't know if that was because I was lazy, or had nothing substantial to archive, or I actually felt obliged to blog (!!!) so I avoided doing so.

Back when I was on LJ I never shared posts, mostly because I didn't have anywhere else to share them. Enter the boom of social networking and suddenly I was caught up in the wind of instant sharing and instant publicity amongst my peers. Maybe I wanted instant gratification. Go figure.

I feel so much better blogging like this. Blogging for myself. While I've always blogged for myself from the very beginning anyway, this takes it up a notch because it feels like I'll be the only one seeing my posts, even if that's not really the case since all my posts are public. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS.

If anything I'll prolly only be sharing posts with my closest friends, and even then that will only be if the post involves them. Or if they've been anticipating a post that I've been talking about (see: Terry).

DATTEBAYO!

As referenced in my Quizilla! farewell post, Naruto was gonna end soon. Except it came much sooner than I had anticipated.

November 6, 2014. IT WAS A NIGHT OF COMPLETE DESTRUCTION. Y'all shoulda been on my Twitter. I went on a Naruto rampage for five hours straight, and cried nearly just as long. It was a very, very emotional end, but it was also very, very conclusive and very satisfying. The final chapter was set some years in the future, with Naruto and co. now adults, with their own children and next generation. THEIR OWN CHILDREN!!!!!! It was so overwhelming.

Coming across the finale was totally unexpected because I was expecting it to show up on November 10, only to find out that was for the actual publication, so the chapters were already leaked/released elsewhere. I already started bawling the moment Sasuke apologized in chapter 699, and the tears never stopped after that.

Even thinking about it now is making me teary-eyed. I never knew I could cry so much in a span of 24 hours... though admittedly that got cut short because my fever relapsed (I've been sick the past week -- as of this post I'm still recuperating and honestly prolly should't even be on the computer, heh). My friend and I concluded my body was grieving for me. I suppose it was all for the best because I am just way too tired to cry that much now, and as I'm still recovering, grieving might just aggravate my condition. (Also, I may or may not have cried so much that I can't cry anymore. This has never happened.) (EDIT 101014: OK I LIED I CHECKED THE FINALE AGAIN AND I'M STILL CRYING APPARENTLY I WILL NEVER BE DONE GRIEVING)

But I can't believe it's over. (Naruto, in the distance, screams: "BELIEVE IT!") I got into Naruto around 2007 -- pretty late, as that was already halfway into the Naruto franchise timeline. Still, I fangirl very strongly and I get so emotionally attached to fictional characters. My grieving got as bad as when Harry Potter ended, but this one feels a little worse, if only because I actually have the time and space to grieve on my own.

I kid you not when I tell you there was a lot of ugly sobbing in my room for a while. I am so, so proud of Naruto Uzumaki, the character. He defied all odds and achieved his dream, and is such a good example of really believing in yourself. Self-belief in your self-worth, even when everyone around you thinks you're worthless.

And then showing him with his son... UGH THE EXTREME FEELS. It was like taking Naruto's maturity to a whole new level. But the sole fact that he finally, finally made it to Hokage status -- now that really broke me in the best way possible. How could you not be proud of this little boy who was shunned by everyone? BRB CRYING TO MY DEATH

There have been many losses along the way -- I wish Neji could've been there with the rest of the gang, and for Asuma to see his kid grow up. It was also so darling so have some consistencies amongst the characters being carried over to the next gen, or at least in this present timeline. Like how Naruto still wears orange, or how there's now a new generation of InoShikaChou, or how Boruto is exactly like his father. I HAVE SO MANY FIC PROMPTS! SO MANY QUESTIONS! Who is Lee's baby momma? What's his kid's name? What's the name of Kurenai's kid? WHY DAFUQ WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER SALAD?!?!?!??!!!!!!??????

I have so much closure though, so thank you, Kishimoto-sensei (also, full-colored finale!!!) for all your hard work. You deserve the break! You've given me so much feelings in the past couple of years, and I'm devastated that this chapter of my life -- something that launched in the latter half of my high school life and ultimately fortified some friendships along the way -- has come to a close. I know it had to end eventually, especially after FIFTEEN YEARS, but even then I knew I was going to cry heaps.

That was such a great way to end something as massive as Naruto. Now THAT is how you deliver a manga finale. BELIEVE IT!

(Now I've got the upcoming mini-series to look forward to next year, featuring the new generation of ninja kids. How exciting!)

Quizilla!

Me on September 15:

Me on October 2:

It wasn't completely unexpected, but I never thought I'd actually see the day. It's hard to believe that something that has been constant in my life is gone now; it might be embarrassing to admit, but I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for fanfiction (read: my then-innocence would've been spared from corruption a little longer), and that's all thanks to Quizilla. I was on Zilla when their logo was still some weird pencil-lizard hybrid, and the brand was still spelled with an exclamation mark. I was there when folders were non-existent and stories were still on gray backgrounds. I was there to see the Highest Rated list go from anime stories to band stories, long before any of the vampire dicking around became prevalent.

It's weird. I technically moved on to another fic site as my 'primary source,' but seeing Zilla shut down is like saying goodbye to an old friend forever. I left when Zilla's quality -- both in stories and site management in general -- really went down, but I'd still go back from time to time whenever I ran out of stuff to read. I remember I only made an account back then just so I could message an author of a fic I'd thoroughly enjoyed, until eventually I made stuff of my own (such trash shall not be disclosed) and even made friends. I've been submerged in the world of fanfiction for ten years now (!!!) and that all began with Zilla. I discovered several anime and a LOT the bands I ended up listening to in high school because of Zilla.

Fanfiction is fangirl fodder, and now I've had to say goodbye to the one site that introduced me to fanfics in the first place. Bye, Quizilla. Thanks for everything.

In more depressing news of departures, the Naruto manga's ending next month. I don't know how I am going to cope.

February-March 2014

In hindsight, I'm pretty glad I got to vlog every month of 2013 (save September, a.k.a. The Dengue Month as I incessantly mention too often), because I haven't actually been able to document much of my life anymore. Mostly because my everyday life is pretty boring, so having been able to travel a lot in 2013 really worked in my vlogging favor.

Anyway, I scrummaged several clips that were left unposted, mostly from February and March. I decided I'd just put them together since there weren't enough clips to produce a standalone video for each month.

It's pretty all over the place, featuring the Lang Leav book signing, a little bit of travel, and random tidbits of home life.

Pictured above are books whose titles hold significance in the Terina friendship.

And of course, obligatory picture with Lang Leav herself. Alex was with us as well, though there is only evidence of such in the video. I find that it's fitting for me to post this now of all times, as Lang Leav's Lullabies book is out already. I intend to get a copy of my own, though as of late I have yet to do so, mostly because I'm lazy (read: stingy) since there was a bit of a disconnect between myself and  Love and Misadventure.

I went to La Union for the first time, met some cool people, and took lots of pictures that aren't worth (nor probably allowed) posting since I was there for work.

Early mornings are only really pleasant when you don't have to get up for work.

One day, en route to my aunt's house, the sky was breathtaking. This picture was taken in front of a church, and looking back, maybe that was God trying to tell me to renew my faith or some kind of holy sign for something in my life. I don't really know.

I remember that being such a nice time in my life though. I miss it.

Dream Girl

These were shot the same day as Grocery Girl. I forgot to mention that styling was done by Camille, on my instructions of "EVERYTHING PRINT-ON-PRINT!!!" For this shoot, the styling was very Dream Girl-esque (as in SHINee), what with the florals and checkers and PENCIL SOCKS AHEM TAEMIN!!!!!!! But with the location, I guess it's sort of... Dream Girls meets industrial? ERRRR kkkkk

Prolly shoulda released this in time for this lovely lady's birthday, but oh well I'm just a lousy friend I guess. Belated happy birthday jeogiyo!!!! Love you and thanks for this and yay more shoots in the future!

#makeuptransformation

LOJK NO

Just another ~*~makeup haul~*~ post.

080214: Terry's house

Earlier this month, Terry took it upon herself to invite us over to her place. It was a pleasant evening of screaming, cartoons, Easter-esque M&Ms, LOTS OF FOOD, more screaming, and maybe some mild profanity, as per usual.

Terry's mom was not amused.

Beau and I were, though.

And so were Billie and I, but I can't say the same for Stephy.

THESE ALBINO M&Ms WERE SO GOOD MAN. They were white chocolate M&Ms. WHITE CHOCOLATE!!!!!

We prolly shoulda taken a group photo, but here's a video instead. Also, yes, I do have a new lens! I think the last time I blogged about a new lens was when I was still on LJ, but I'd rather not delve so much into the deets. All you need to know is that this lens is a lotta fuuuun.

And on that note, you know who to call for a good time. WENK WONK

Boracay: June 2014

Early this June my family and I went to Boracay as a sort of joint birthday celebration for my mom and I. The last time I was in Boracay was in the summer of 2012; that trip was something I wish I could relive, not only because summer of that year was great, but also because I FELL SICK IN THE LATTER OF HALF OF THAT TRIP NOT COOL BEANS.

My cousin was insistent that I could NOT leave without having tried this drink from this one... bar. I don't even remember the name of the drink nor where it came from. I think this is a jar of Weng-Weng?

There's also this vlog, which isn't much to be honest, besides a bunch of shaky clips underwater. I was testing out my shiny new ~*~GoPro~*~ (I know, so very #laboracay #summer2014 #gopro of me), hence the really random, nonsensical video.

061414: Joint birthday celebration!

Some old footage from June. Mae, Alex, Stephy and I decided to hold a joint birthday celebration since our birthdays were pretty close to each other (Mae, Alex and I in May; Stephy in early June) and also because our group hadn't seen each other in a while.

Besides that vlog, here are just a few other pictures:

End post with Ashley. Bye!

Space Witch

Simple and spontaneous shoot with the lovely Alex. Special thanks to Terry for hosting us!

Grocery Girl

Camille and I have always wanted a grocery/convenience store shoot, and luckily for us, we managed to squeeze in a mini-shoot with that theme a weekend before she flies back to Singapore. This was done guerilla, so it was pretty quick and brief, though I really liked a lot of the shots I got despite shooting discreetly. Guerrilla shoots just really stress me out, man. Everything stresses me out.

We were supposed to attend a kcon that day, but the queue was SICK so we ditched it and decided to shoot instead. We pulled another shoot that same day, though photos will be up on a separate post. Anyway, have a safe flight, jeogiyo! I am going to miss you heaps. See you in December (and in your letters!)

Grandmother Queen

Hi!!!!! I'm just going to blog about this while I'm still in the mood because this needs to be archived in my internet space:

1. I have a new tattoo! There's personal relevance in getting a crown, and brownie points for you if you manage to figure out what it is. I believe I've wanted to get a tattoo in that specific spot since I was still in college, and toyed with the idea of a crown tattoo for almost as long. I even considered getting a Kingdom Hearts crown logo outline as my tattoo design, and came very close to sticking with that idea, but I decided against it in case the fandom does something that might... ruin my perception of the franchise in the future. I'll keep my distance from fandom tats as much as possible, despite KH being my number one fandom, but hey, my opinion might change again in the future.

Look at all that detail!

I wanna say that this tat didn't hurt as much, but it's hard to compare when my last tattoo was from 2012. Still, I do think the artist's hand wasn't very heavy and despite not having that needle pain on my skin for two years, it was pretty pleasant. (I also wanna say that maybe I might've grown accustomed to the feeling after all these years, but w h o k n o w s .........)

I was supposed to get another, smaller tattoo today, as well as retouch some of my colored tats, but my artist and I agreed on a resched instead. I'm really, absolutely smitten with the final product of my crown though! Hit me with a message or email or something and I can hook you up, if you're interested.

2. I have gray hair again! (That sounds kinda weird to say...) This one was a bit spontaneous. I was just accompanying my mom to the salon for her haircut but then she and our stylist suggested I color my hair while I was there. I told my mom some time back that I wanted white streaks or smthn with my black hair, though it was to be reserved for the farther future. I ended up getting my hair did anyway and I really love it! I only hope that it lasts much longer than the time I was ash blonde.

That's all. Just a quick life update on what happened today!

GURL THANGZ

~*~MAKEUP HAUL TIME~*~

Some outfit thing with flowers.

In lieu of my recent Gloomsville posts, I have decided to publish this bright, cheery, colorful, totes-way-opposite-of-how-I've-been-feeling-lately outfit from last month, because we all need some obnoxious saturation amidst rainclouds in our lives.

(But, let's face it, I prolly only felt like posting this because I was recently semi-submerged in the ~*~blogging~*~ scene again. It was for ~*~work~*~ I promise!!!)

I took an unofficial (?!? wat) hiatus from outfit blogging in the past few months because I seriously could not be bothered to document my outfits. That's really it. Besides ~*~real life~*~ making me lazy to even produce a proper outfit, the heat the past two months was HORRIBRU and I wasn't up to subjecting myself to becoming a molten puddle of sweat just to take pictures (or videos) of myself. Documentation of this outfit was even done by my dad (thanks Papa!). What'd I tell you about C A N N O T B E B O T H E R E D

Mich Dulce x Bench headband | Vintage top | Jellybean dress | from Hong Kong shoes

What is up with all the peace signs though. Spread the love. Spread the peace. Spread the zen. Peace out.

Lately I've found myself re-visiting my childhood again. I don't mean taking another trip down memory lane (which, trust me, I do much more often than what is considered a healthy amount), I mean actually physically re-visiting places from my childhood.

It's the strangest feeling, going back to someplace that holds so many memories. In my case I've had to re-visit a location from my childhood, and you can just imagine how curious it was to be visiting for work purposes. I was hit with so much nostalgia that it was painful. It hurt. A lot.

I mean, I remember going to that place a lot when I was a kid. I remember having my ID picture taken in that one picture shop, and having donuts with my mom in the donut place right next to it. I remember always having a hotdog stick from the hotdog stand outside the now non-existent video rental place. I remember going to the supermarket and pushing those mini carts, and those times I'd rush to National Bookstore with my parents because I forgot to get something for school. I remember that in-mall amusement park arcade place, and the toy store outside that I would frequent. I remember watching Mulan for the first time in that movie theater. I remember having breakfast at Jollibee before what I believe was my ACET, but may easily be my UPCAT.

I remember visiting that computer shop to mooch internet a lot, and how the last time I was in the area (at least before these recent visits) was when I was a college freshman. A COLLEGE FRESHMAN. And now there I was, making a visit for work.

It felt so surreal, and also very sad. But maybe it was only sad because of my own feelings getting in the way, as they have been fogging my perception of things lately.

I hardly know what's going on with me anymore.

Hello. I am 22 years old now, and have been for over two weeks. My birthday was great and intimate and lovely.

I secretly have work to do, and I haven't done it, and I have to get up early tomorrow, but I'm still procrastinating like I usually do. I don't really know what to talk about -- I mean I have epic backlog, but I'm currently on another computer right now so access to my files is limited as of this post.

I've been in a really weird and emotional place for the past month or so. I feel like I've been nurturing so much negativity lately that I haven't been able to really enjoy life to the fullest, as cheesy as that sounds. It's not that I'm being ungrateful or anything, because I am definitely, definitely blessed and have SO many things to be grateful for, but I've been holding in so much resentment that there seems to be a perpetual thorn on my side. It's like #THESISIT... only this time it's so toxic that #THESISIT is already heaven-sent.

I'm happy, and okay, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm sad, but I've been generally very unhappy about a particular aspect of my life, and it has been consuming me.

I know where the root of all this negativity stems from, but it's not something I can cut off so easily. It's a part of ~*~growing up~*~ that I need to deal with, but I really cannot wait to be rid of this weight on my shoulders already.

Maybe I'm in the process of finding myself. Whatever it is, I want a revamp.

Life update as of 052014

1. It's four in the morning. I got up at 3am to work on something (read: cram). I hafta get up in three hours.

2. Real life has been consuming. I'm at that time of my life where I don't know where I'm going, and I'm struggling to just breathe and it's all so scary. I've been riding an emotional roller coaster (in fact, a meltdown took place just yesterday) and I've been so drained with everything. There's been a lot of self-reflecting lately. It's overwhelming.

Real life is real hard.

I really miss photography. I miss a lot of things. Lately, the simplicity of life a while back.

I don't get to vlog anymore because I don't have any footage. I don't get to read all my books that are sobbing for attention. Blogging is the least of my priorities, but I really do miss it. Most times, my spare time (minuscule as it is) is spent on sleep, the internets (of course) and occasionally video games.

3. Speaking of, I have a gaming blog with my friend Alex! It's a lot chattier than this personal blog and I've updated that more than this blog since my unofficial hiatus. I've always wanted to write about games (my obsession with video game magazines manifested in grade school) and I know I'm not good at it at ALL (or writing in general... cry) but it's been total fun. Sharing common interests with your favorite people is always time well spent.

4. I have dyke hair.

Okay, not really, but my haircut turned out much shorter than I planned. No biggie since this prolongs the lifespan of the cut, but I've had to dress to the extremes of either really girly or really ~*~manry~*~ because anything in between looks a bit off. I'm just glad I'll have a fringe after 983496734530 years. Growing out my last cut made me sick of my hair, and perhaps short hair in general, so I may or may not decide to grow my hair out again. This, however, may take another 9847569823752985 years.

5. I'm turning 22 on Friday. TGIF.

SIMPLE AND CLEAN IS DA WAY DAT UR MAKIN' ME FEEL 2NYT

SO. You may or may not have heard, but I finished Kingdom Hearts the other day. As in the first KH game. THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL OK BECAUSE I COULDN'T (or rather chose not to) GET PAST TRAVERSE TOWN THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME WHEN IT CAME OUT.

Let us recall the story of my KH beginnings. The very first time I had ever encountered Kingdom Hearts was in the game section of a K-Zone issue way back when. What first caught my eye was the art: there was a picture of a brown-haired boy being forced to smile by Disney's Donald and Goofy, along with an unknown redhead and a silver-haired guy at the back. Based on the article, I had deduced that this was a Square-Disney collaboration, which I thought was an epic idea because omg Disney and Final Fantasy omg excuse me while I salivate???

Fast forward some time later, and I was at Shang for mass. My parents and I were outside the toy store (which, I think, was still called Kidz Station back then) and I wanted to check out the video games. And then I saw Kingdom Hearts and screamed (loljk not rly) and I really, really wanted it. So we got it.

Except we didn't even have a PS2 at the time HAHAHAHA I was already content with just having a copy, as silly as that sounds. But eventually we did get a PS2, so you could say I got a PS2 because of KH.

Anyway, I remember getting all starry eyed as I watched the game's intro after my dad set up the PS2 for the first time. And then I remember getting intimidate by the first boss fight. Enter Traverse Town and I didn't want to leave the First District because I was so scared of failing LMAO It just came to a point when I stopped playing altogether.

Around 4 years (more or less, pls math) had passed when I got a hold of the sequel, and somehow I had miraculously finished that (albeit it took maybe a year because I'd always stop playing whenever I got stuck somewhere, haha) but still never managed to finish the first KH game because whenever I thought of the intro and Traverse Town, I'd just remember those feelings of intimidation and discouragement.

And theeeen a few years ago, I finally picked up the first KH game again. I was already a college student at the time, and no, I wasn't afraid anymore HAHAHA. The game really, really pissed me off though, because the controls were so wonky! AND THE FACT THAT MAPS DIDN'T EXIST WAS SUCH A HEADACHE OKKKK. Hollow Bastion was especially difficult without a map because it was so confusing. I ended up consulting a walkthrough during the entire Hollow Bastion playthrough because I'd always get lost. I ended up leaving the game indefinitely because I had to go back to Hollow Bastion again for the world's final boss fight, but I just wasn't up to putting myself through that headache again.

Then the HD remake came out, and I wasn't intending to get it at all, because I was like "BUT I JUST MADE MYSELF GO THROUGH HELL WITH THE PS2 ORIGINAL I DON'T WANNA DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN IT'LL BE AN HD HEADACHE" except lol I impulsively ended up buying it a good while after it was released.

I decided to make the PS3 file my walkthrough file, because there was no way I was gonna play the entire thing again all lost and confused. BUT ANYWAY I EVENTUALLY FINISHED IT AND IT WAS SO MAGICAL AND HISTORICAL BECAUSE KINGDOM HEARTS IS THE NUMBER ONE FANDOM IN MY LIFE AND FOR ME TO FINISH THE FIRST GAME IS A V E R Y BIG DEAL!!!!!!

Well, for me to finish ANY game is a big deal already, as you already know. I have a bad history of abandoning games so it's very rare for me to finish anything. (I mean, I made SUCH a big deal over Lightning Returns, and even pre-ordered and everything, but then I got stuck and haven't played the game in over a month since getting it...) All in good timing too, because I predict I'll be impossibly busy come April.

Things I would like to discuss:
• Boss battles in KH1 are a lot easier than KH2 boss battles. At least for me it was? I mean regardless of the walkthrough, even in my PS2 file I went through boss battles with relative ease, and for me to say that means the difficulty level isn't much because I'm easily intimidated by boss battles. The hardest bosses in KH1 were prolly Maleficent and the final boss. However, I feel like everything else in KH1 is a bit harder. For one, there aren't any maps. Two, there are a LOT of puzzles. Three, THESE GODDAMN CONTROLS ARE SO WONKY LIKE I CANNOT. I feel like the controls were improved in the HD remake, but there were still times when I just. No.

• How did I ever live my life with Dodge Roll?

• How did I ever live my life spamming just Curaga when Aeroga was always there waiting for me? (Srsly, towards the end of the game, I became very Aerora-dependent.)

I'm really, really excited for KH 2.5 now, because HD!KH2 and BBS I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO PLAY BBS BECAUSE I NEVER GOT TO PLAY IT ON THE PSP AAAAAA

I've also begun playing KH3D now, because I'm still on a KH high (when am I not?) and I am prolonging my feels because HOW DO I EVEN GO ON WITH MY LIFE NOW???!!!?

tl;dr this is another video game feels post, good day

toilettereads: Heartbeat, Heartbreak

I read a lot in February. Or maybe just more than usual, and I have a lot to say about it. More under the cut, which is mostly spoiler-free as I tried to keep deets as vague as possibru.

I woke up feeling sad today.

Sad, and maybe a little nostalgic.

Back in the day (read: more than five years ago), I'd blog really, really random things. Sometimes they were short, 'emotional' drabbles, the kind that were vague and only made sense to the author. I've stopped making those kind of word vomit posts, but maybe only because of the conception of Plurk and Twitter. Back then, micro-blogging was never a thing.

But really, you can only say so much with 140 characters.

And then there's Tumblr, but I hardly ever use mine anymore, and I've never liked Tumblr as a blogging platform. Maybe as a source for nice imagery, but really, that's it. I did use to utilize it as a space for vague, nonsense posts (always accompanied with a photo though), thereby sparing my old blog of those kind of posts.

I think I really miss blogging that way though, before micro-blogging was a staple in social media.

These days, whenever I make a post, I share it on my social media accounts (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook) because... I don't really know. Maybe because I want my friends to see my posts, so I share it with them? I mean, I hardly have an audience, but I know a handful of friends who do drop by my blog from time to time, so sharing my posts is sort of like a notification, saying, "Hey, just letting you know there's a new post! Bye!" But then there are posts like this one, the kind of posts that are bound to be ignored for the lack of visuals, or because it's uninteresting, or some other reason. But it's personal. Much, much more personal. And I like that.

I want to keep posts like this here, on public and not private, even if I really don't know where I'm going with this. I almost never kept my brief and vague posts on private when I was on LiveJournal, unless I was intentionally passively-aggressively spiting someone, though that rarely happened.

I guess I just had this need to write my thoughts feelings at this very moment and have them chronicled, not so much out of living in the past (no matter how often I fall into that, I admit) but to remember this moment. I think that's what's great about blogging, or keeping a journal in general. Once you chronicle a moment in time, there's an archive of it to store it away somewhere, and somehow it helps me remember that moment much better. Sort of like taking a picture.

I want to remember the good, the bad, and the ugly, because I think I can pick myself up after learning from negativity.

Right now I feel all over the place. I feel a little sad, nostalgic, and troubled. I don't always wake up sad- I hardly ever do, really. So I don't know where this came from. Maybe it's hormones again. Go figure.

I do feel a little bit better though, having put this up.

Town of Cats

Zara Man top, Linea Italia skirt

Warning: the photos that follow may or may not become weirder as you progress through this post. Also, this was named after the Town of Cats story from Haruki Murakami's 1Q84. Reading about it in the book reminded me of the Ghibli film called The Cat Returns, but I have yet to actually see it. I've only seen a handful of Ghibli, really.

Hello! I haven't 'properly' taken any outfit shots lately, because I've been really lazy, and well it was a nice break, not being in front of the camera. A really, really nice break. But I missed documenting my outfits, and actually one of the reasons why I stopped was because I've been lazy-dressing lately, so a lot of my outfits weren't really document-worthy.

Anyway, I wore this last Sunday, and I was going for some ~*~Parisian chic~*~ again ahahaha. I guess it translated well enough, because my mom commented that I looked "very French" even if my skirt could pass as a school uniform counterpart. It's a really old skirt we got on sale years ago, and I've always called it my uniform skirt.

You know, I bet it was the stripes and hat that made the outfit look remotely 'French.' I mean, those are like, classic-generic-poster-child France archetypes. Oh, and bagels.

Topshop socks, Forever 21 shoes

American Surplus bag

I prolly have way too much cat stuff as it is, but when does one ever have too much cat things? I got this from the surplus shop in Pampanga my sister took us to (you can see snippets here) and... what else can I say about it? Tapestry cats. Perfection.

Apostrophe/from Hong Kong necklaces

Hey, Tofu. Wassap, Tofu. Ur cool, Tofu.

Forever 21/Marc by Marc Jacobs (gifted!!!!!) rings

Lol gaiz I have a ~*~Marc by Marc Jacobs~*~ ring, am I legit yet. Hahahaha lemme tell you it was a Christmas gift from one of my aunts, and man was it an unexpected gift. Like, really. I didn't even ask for it. When you move it around, all the flowers attached jiggle and it's fun and-

I should've prolly just filmed this outfit, so that you can see what I'm talking about, but too bad, I didn't have enough time to film this. Anyway, this ring is cool. I have cool aunts. (Thanks Tita Lisa!)

Mich Dulce x Bench hat

I'm telling you, it was the hat. And the stripes. Betcha this coulda been considered as one of those last minute go-to Halloween costumes. "Oh look, I'm wearing stripes! And this hat! I have a bagel with me too! Can you guess what I am?"

Dunno if you can tell, but my earrings are seahorses. You're probably too distracted by Tofu's heads to notice though.