Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Zero Degrees

Oftentimes, my shoots with Alex never really go exactly as planned, and this time was no exception. 

Alex had just come from a long week of work, and when she finally got to my place to shoot, one of my lights started acting up. It was an unexpected incident that forced me to compromise my set up, thus ultimately changing the overall look and feel I was initially going for.

Oftentimes, my shoots with Alex never really go exactly as planned -- but for the most part, the final results tend to be worth it in end.

It's an everyday struggle, trying to wrap my head around the notion that some things are not my fault -- at least not entirely, I guess? -- and that there are some things that are just out of my control.

Things don't always go according to plan -- trust me, I know that better than anyone -- but it's shoots like the ones I have with Alex that make me see the silver lining in the unexpected.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

A man ate a seagull and then he died.

Gasp, an outfit post? Really? TRULY, IT IS 2016.

I wore this last Sunday when it was unnaturally chilly for Manila standards (hence the coat). While I wasn't planning on photographing this properly -- let alone blog about it, even -- I liked what I wore, but missed the chance to take a snapshot via mobile phone when the sun was still out. So, in a way, you could say I was almost 'forced' to document this outfit. Almost.

I don't remember what brand this shirt is from ('cause I totes suck at this blogging thing), but I know I got it from Hong Kong on sale some time ago. I like how it basically tells people to eff off, but the background print is still pretty hippy and fun and-

-2016 and I still suck at talking about my outfits. Seriously, while photographing this, I thought back on the time when I was HELLA dedicated to documenting my outfits and making blog posts on them. I honestly don't know how I managed to become so devoted, putting so much effort to photograph myself and what I wore for the day. On one hand, I want to get back to doing such, but on the other hand... meh.

And then, less than an hour after I had documented this outfit, I received a call from Terry telling me I was coming with her to visit some friends of hers. I suppose they're also friends of mine (??? to an extent, at most), but I had only hung out with half of them maybe one other time -- or perhaps two times before -- and y'all know how I've always felt about calling people my friends. Most times I refrain from using the label until I'm sure a certain degree of closeness has already been established, only because I don't want to seem like I'm overstepping boundaries a.k.a. feeling close.

It was already 4 AM when I got back to the house, the knowledge that I still had work in about two hours time slowly creeping its way into the back of my head. By the time I got to my room, I could barely keep my eyes open. I was exhausted -- mostly from all the laughter induced by the company I was with. The night was unexpectedly lively -- much more enjoyable than I had anticipated, to be honest -- and I think that made the lack of sleep all the more worth it.

Sometimes these spontaneous moments turn out to become very meaningful memories, and these days, having such happy feelings stirred within me -- while lovely -- have become rather fleeting in their existence. For my own sake, I need to come across them more often.

Friday, January 15, 2016


First shoot of the year featuring Emman! Ever since I met Emman in 2013, I've been wanting to photograph her, but as per usual it took me forever to schedule something. We finally managed to pull something off last week, with the two of us doing the styling and Emman doing her makeup and her brother Marc (whom I adore!!!) doing the... moral support.

The shoot was a brief one -- I'd say we wrapped up in an hour or so -- and the rest of the afternoon was spent just swapping stories about family life, schooling life, and non-existent love lives. I've always loved Emman because she's such a sweetheart, and while this was only our second time hanging out, I can tell she's definitely a keeper.

(And I mean, we always freak out on Twitter anyway, and what better way to bring people together than with their feelings?)

The shoot was just some simple portraiture to get the ball rolling for the year. Whereas 2015 was the year I experimented a lot with my photography (and with a lot of fake flowers, hence 2015 being the Year of the Plantation), 2016 will be... I guess honing my 'skills'? I still want to experiment even more, as there's just so much room to improve and explore, but this time I'll be pacing myself. I'm still aiming for monthly shoots, but I want to be less rushed and more prepared this time around.

By the way, I made an Instagram account solely for my photography, and I plan on using the '#theinaesthetic' hashtag for... ~*~branding~*~ purposes. (Trust me, I feel gross about it.) "The Inaesthetic" because Ina + aesthetic = my aesthetic, but also refers to 'inaesthetic' as in violating aesthetic standards. Quite contradictory, but I like it. Nevertheless, I think this was a good start to the year in terms of my photography.

Thanks again Emman and Marc for a wonderful afternoon! I'm really looking forward to working together again.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Photography 2015

2015 might have been my most challenging year yet, but I'm glad I at least managed to follow through with my personal goal of shooting at least once a month. What I am more proud of is the fact that I not only shot in quantity, but in quality as well. I'd like to think I've grown and somewhat improved as an artist, and I hope this translated in the photographs I produced in the past year.

I'm going to try and continue this one-shoot-a-month thing, especially since two of my 2015 shoots were only conducted due to other reasons, like work (July shoot with, which I never really blogged about for some reason) or blog duties (i.e. September shoot, which was more like sneaking in a photo within a shoot trying to emulate another concept, and thus does not feel like it was entirely my own shoot... if that makes sense).

Thank you to everyone who was a part of my 2015, be it personally, professionally, creatively, or what have you. I hope we get to work again this 2016, and I most definitely hope I get to work with new people in the year ahead!

I'll leave y'all with links to the respective shoots from 2015, in case you'd like to see more:













Thursday, December 31, 2015

Satiated Dreams Pt. 2

Satiated Dreams Pt. 1

Thanks again Camille for letting me photograph you, and special thanks to Ana for hosting us. See you all in 2016!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Satiated Dreams Pt. 1

There came a time last month when -- for what felt like the first time all year -- I was seemingly at peace. I realized early on this year that I am most definitely not where I imagined myself to be at this point in my life, and regardless of what other people say, the truth is that it's not okay. It's really not okay. What I've been telling myself as a desperate form of consolation is that I'm alive, at the very least.

Alive, but not necessarily living.

I've put some of my dreams to rest. They're buried elsewhere in my subconsciousness, in a place where they can stay safe. They're not dreams I can pursue at the moment, but I don't know if I will ever be able to pursue them at all in the long run.

In that aforementioned moment in time last month, I felt like I was going somewhere. Like I was on the road to someplace better.

But it might not be the right time yet. The thing is, I don't know what the 'right' time is, or if I can last until that time will come.

So, at this point, laying my dreams to rest feels like a sick way of satiating them, in a way. Setting them aside is my way of saying, "That's enough. You've done well. Go to sleep, we're done." It's not the happiest of satiations, but it's the only way I know how to protect myself.

Depressing things aside, my lovely Camille is back in town, prompting another Camina shoot, as per usual. The concept came to me around that particular time last month that I just mentioned, and it's a little inspired by Bangtan's The Most Beautiful Moment In Life albums, among other things. We'll be shooting part two next week, and it'll prolly be my last shoot for the year.

Thanks again Camille for another wonderful afternoon (especially when we spent the remainder of our time together just laughing at how ridiculous our Bangtan Boys are, lol).

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Garden Weed

It was on a morning drive to school when I found out Marien -- whom I previously knew as The Upperclassman I Have Mutual Friends With -- is actually a family friend. I was probably a high school junior then; my dad was about to drop us off when he spotted someone he apparently recognized on campus.

"Is that Marien Jose?" he asked.

"Wait," I said, "how do you know her?"

Turns out our families are very good friends who go way back -- so much that apparently she and my cousins (and myself?) used to play together as children. The earliest memory I have of Marien is a little shrouded; at most, I remembered her as The Girl Who Actually Has Questor Issues That I Don't Own, back when I was at her house for some... family thing (I really don't remember why I was at her house that day), at a much younger age.

But this is all old news. Several years have passed since that revelation... and several months have come and gone before Marien and I finally got around to shooting together at last.

Because, you know, I always have to write some kind of mini-essay recounting my first encounters with whomever I'm shooting with for the first time. (See: Girl Almighty / Street Smart) Call it unofficial initiation.

Lol, jk.

These were shot just a few hours ago -- practically a new record for me to post so quickly, and with this amount too, considering my current track record of posting only one image per shoot.

Thanks again Marien for being so game. Ultimately, thank you for being very patient with me, seeing as I either always delayed this shoot, or I never did anything to get the ball rolling. You are a doll, and I'm glad you and I have our kooky families to bond over. Belated happy birthday as well, and here's to more collaborations in the future!