Tuesday, May 24, 2016

24: The World Is Quiet Here

I turned 24 years old yesterday, and it felt like any other day of the week. (It didn't help that my birthday fell on a Monday.) Maybe because I had already celebrated my birthday in advance, so when the actual day came, it felt like just another ordinary day. I spent my last few hours of being a 23-year-old by reading Solanin by Inio Asano -- something I've been meaning to do ever since I went to the Manga Realities exhibit at Ayala Museum several years ago.


I even had a drink to further spur on my feelings (spoiler alert: Tanduay Rum Cola tastes like soy sauce), but more than that, I made it a point to read Solanin before I turned another year older because I knew it would resonate with me -- much more now, at this point in my life, than when I first encountered it as a college student who still had some light in her eyes.

I feel like most of that light has died out by now.

It was inevitable that my reading session would end in tears, though I was taken off guard by how I was destroyed by a particular event in the story. I thought I would be ultimately be taken apart by how relatable Solanin was, and while it spoke to me with how much I saw myself in its pages, the turning point in the story -- brought on by a certain character -- was what left me sobbing in my room whilst the clock slowly neared midnight.


This was the last picture I took of myself before I turned 24. I wanted to remember that moment in time; swollen eyes brought on by crying and staying up late that night, my hair being all over the place, that random water pitcher just waiting for me on my desk.

The next day -- my actual birthday -- I spent some of my afternoon in solitude, basking in the anonymity of being just another regular citizen of the world. There's a curious sense of silence that can be found in solitude; sure, it can get lonely at times, but the past few years made me realize how much I enjoy that little nugget of quiet peace that comes from being by yourself.

My birthdays have always been something I look forward to, and that hasn't changed until now. It might not have felt like anything special, but I'd like to think it was substantially better this time around, especially since I did so much crying around my birthday last year. I had considered it to be my worst birthday thus far -- and I still do -- so it was a relief to find myself in a better place as compared to last year. Though, in the broad spectrum of things, I'm nowhere near where I want to be at this point in my life.

Yesterday, I celebrated my birthday with my parents. We had a quaint little dinner (Japanese, noms), before retiring for the night. It was a normal day; nothing extraordinary, nothing considerably noteworthy, but it was -- for the most part -- pleasant.

I'm only disappointed that I didn't get to watch Captain America: Civil War for the third time because the cinemas were no longer showing it.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Wonderwood Vol. II










Late post because I've been busy with life! Wonderwood Vol. II (Vol. I here) was shot in April, but I've only just gotten to the photos now due to ~*~traveling~*~ and other things. Janelle and I drove around particular subdivisions to get these shots, and it was a fun experience, considering some shots were attained a little guerilla. Despite the heat and the wait-let's-hide-in-the-car moments, the shots turned out really great, I'd like to think. Thanks again shy girl Janelle!

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Gemini


Very recently, I found out that a place dear to both my heart and Ana's will soon be unavailable to us -- a.k.a. Anette's old house.

To honor the memory of the location (Ana grew up there, after all, and I've had shoots there on three other occasions), we decided to have one last shoot there. A few days before we were set to shoot, Ana pitched the idea of making 'twins' in the photographs; chalk it up to her obsession with twins, go figure. I was totally open to the idea though, so I left the twins post-processing to Ana (plus, she totally wanted to do it anyway).

Ultimately, the whole twins idea became the general direction of the entire shoot. I actually pitched a similar idea -- especially the styling -- for a shoot with a pair of actual twins before, but it got scrapped, so this was the perfect opportunity to take a few elements from that original idea and bring them to life once and for all.






Admittedly, the theme was a little stressful. As I was treating each set as if I were shooting two people, I had to come up two separate outfits per set. Granted, coming up with outfits coming from Ana's closet is always fun, but by the time we were halfway done with shooting, I was totally getting worn down.

Mostly because it was so. Hot.

I started getting a little nervous by the third set, because the sun was slowly setting and I was beginning to worry that I wouldn't be able make it all the way to the final set.

But, by the magic of Anina, we managed to pull it all off somehow.











It's been a while since I last shot several sets on-location and outdoors using natural lighting. I absolutely missed shooting in such circumstances, seeing as I've been practicing with artificial lights in the past year or so, but I totally forgot how tiring it can be to shoot outdoors. Especially now that summer is creeping in!

Nevertheless, the shoot wouldn't have been remotely as fun (and funny) if it weren't for Ana, so thank you very much, Anette! Time spent with you is always magical and incredibly nostalgic. Luvu longtime.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Zero Degrees


Oftentimes, my shoots with Alex never really go exactly as planned, and this time was no exception. 

Alex had just come from a long week of work, and when she finally got to my place to shoot, one of my lights started acting up. It was an unexpected incident that forced me to compromise my set up, thus ultimately changing the overall look and feel I was initially going for.


Oftentimes, my shoots with Alex never really go exactly as planned -- but for the most part, the final results tend to be worth it in end.


It's an everyday struggle, trying to wrap my head around the notion that some things are not my fault -- at least not entirely, I guess? -- and that there are some things that are just out of my control.

Things don't always go according to plan -- trust me, I know that better than anyone -- but it's shoots like the ones I have with Alex that make me see the silver lining in the unexpected.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

A man ate a seagull and then he died.


Gasp, an outfit post? Really? TRULY, IT IS 2016.


I wore this last Sunday when it was unnaturally chilly for Manila standards (hence the coat). While I wasn't planning on photographing this properly -- let alone blog about it, even -- I liked what I wore, but missed the chance to take a snapshot via mobile phone when the sun was still out. So, in a way, you could say I was almost 'forced' to document this outfit. Almost.


I don't remember what brand this shirt is from ('cause I totes suck at this blogging thing), but I know I got it from Hong Kong on sale some time ago. I like how it basically tells people to eff off, but the background print is still pretty hippy and fun and-

-2016 and I still suck at talking about my outfits. Seriously, while photographing this, I thought back on the time when I was HELLA dedicated to documenting my outfits and making blog posts on them. I honestly don't know how I managed to become so devoted, putting so much effort to photograph myself and what I wore for the day. On one hand, I want to get back to doing such, but on the other hand... meh.


And then, less than an hour after I had documented this outfit, I received a call from Terry telling me I was coming with her to visit some friends of hers. I suppose they're also friends of mine (??? to an extent, at most), but I had only hung out with half of them maybe one other time -- or perhaps two times before -- and y'all know how I've always felt about calling people my friends. Most times I refrain from using the label until I'm sure a certain degree of closeness has already been established, only because I don't want to seem like I'm overstepping boundaries a.k.a. feeling close.


It was already 4 AM when I got back to the house, the knowledge that I still had work in about two hours time slowly creeping its way into the back of my head. By the time I got to my room, I could barely keep my eyes open. I was exhausted -- mostly from all the laughter induced by the company I was with. The night was unexpectedly lively -- much more enjoyable than I had anticipated, to be honest -- and I think that made the lack of sleep all the more worth it.

Sometimes these spontaneous moments turn out to become very meaningful memories, and these days, having such happy feelings stirred within me -- while lovely -- have become rather fleeting in their existence. For my own sake, I need to come across them more often.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Emmanuelle


First shoot of the year featuring Emman! Ever since I met Emman in 2013, I've been wanting to photograph her, but as per usual it took me forever to schedule something. We finally managed to pull something off last week, with the two of us doing the styling and Emman doing her makeup and her brother Marc (whom I adore!!!) doing the... moral support.



The shoot was a brief one -- I'd say we wrapped up in an hour or so -- and the rest of the afternoon was spent just swapping stories about family life, schooling life, and non-existent love lives. I've always loved Emman because she's such a sweetheart, and while this was only our second time hanging out, I can tell she's definitely a keeper.

(And I mean, we always freak out on Twitter anyway, and what better way to bring people together than with their feelings?)


The shoot was just some simple portraiture to get the ball rolling for the year. Whereas 2015 was the year I experimented a lot with my photography (and with a lot of fake flowers, hence 2015 being the Year of the Plantation), 2016 will be... I guess honing my 'skills'? I still want to experiment even more, as there's just so much room to improve and explore, but this time I'll be pacing myself. I'm still aiming for monthly shoots, but I want to be less rushed and more prepared this time around.


By the way, I made an Instagram account solely for my photography, and I plan on using the '#theinaesthetic' hashtag for... ~*~branding~*~ purposes. (Trust me, I feel gross about it.) "The Inaesthetic" because Ina + aesthetic = my aesthetic, but also refers to 'inaesthetic' as in violating aesthetic standards. Quite contradictory, but I like it. Nevertheless, I think this was a good start to the year in terms of my photography.

Thanks again Emman and Marc for a wonderful afternoon! I'm really looking forward to working together again.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Photography 2015


2015 might have been my most challenging year yet, but I'm glad I at least managed to follow through with my personal goal of shooting at least once a month. What I am more proud of is the fact that I not only shot in quantity, but in quality as well. I'd like to think I've grown and somewhat improved as an artist, and I hope this translated in the photographs I produced in the past year.

I'm going to try and continue this one-shoot-a-month thing, especially since two of my 2015 shoots were only conducted due to other reasons, like work (July shoot with Plump.ph, which I never really blogged about for some reason) or blog duties (i.e. September shoot, which was more like sneaking in a photo within a shoot trying to emulate another concept, and thus does not feel like it was entirely my own shoot... if that makes sense).

Thank you to everyone who was a part of my 2015, be it personally, professionally, creatively, or what have you. I hope we get to work again this 2016, and I most definitely hope I get to work with new people in the year ahead!

I'll leave y'all with links to the respective shoots from 2015, in case you'd like to see more:

January

February

March
#ootd

April

May
Camille

June

July

August

September
Hazy

October

November

December