Saturday, July 12, 2014

Grandmother Queen

Hi!!!!! I'm just going to blog about this while I'm still in the mood because this needs to be archived in my internet space:

1. I have a new tattoo! There's personal relevance in getting a crown, and brownie points for you if you manage to figure out what it is. I believe I've wanted to get a tattoo in that specific spot since I was still in college, and toyed with the idea of a crown tattoo for almost as long. I even considered getting a Kingdom Hearts crown logo outline as my tattoo design, and came very close to sticking with that idea, but I decided against it in case the fandom does something that might... ruin my perception of the franchise in the future. I'll keep my distance from fandom tats as much as possible, despite KH being my number one fandom, but hey, my opinion might change again in the future.

Look at all that detail!
I wanna say that this tat didn't hurt as much, but it's hard to compare when my last tattoo was from 2012. Still, I do think the artist's hand wasn't very heavy and despite not having that needle pain on my skin for two years, it was pretty pleasant. (I also wanna say that maybe I might've grown accustomed to the feeling after all these years, but w h o k n o w s .........)

I was supposed to get another, smaller tattoo today, as well as retouch some of my colored tats, but my artist and I agreed on a resched instead. I'm really, absolutely smitten with the final product of my crown though! Hit me with a message or email or something and I can hook you up, if you're interested.

2. I have gray hair again! (That sounds kinda weird to say...) This one was a bit spontaneous. I was just accompanying my mom to the salon for her haircut but then she and our stylist suggested I color my hair while I was there. I told my mom some time back that I wanted white streaks or smthn with my black hair, though it was to be reserved for the farther future. I ended up getting my hair did anyway and I really love it! I only hope that it lasts much longer than the time I was ash blonde.

That's all. Just a quick life update on what happened today!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Some outfit thing with flowers.

In lieu of my recent Gloomsville posts, I have decided to publish this bright, cheery, colorful, totes-way-opposite-of-how-I've-been-feeling-lately outfit from last month, because we all need some obnoxious saturation amidst rainclouds in our lives.

(But, let's face it, I prolly only felt like posting this because I was recently semi-submerged in the ~*~blogging~*~ scene again. It was for ~*~work~*~ I promise!!!)

I took an unofficial (?!? wat) hiatus from outfit blogging in the past few months because I seriously could not be bothered to document my outfits. That's really it. Besides ~*~real life~*~ making me lazy to even produce a proper outfit, the heat the past two months was HORRIBRU and I wasn't up to subjecting myself to becoming a molten puddle of sweat just to take pictures (or videos) of myself. Documentation of this outfit was even done by my dad (thanks Papa!). What'd I tell you about C A N N O T B E B O T H E R E D

Mich Dulce x Bench headband | Vintage top | Jellybean dress | from Hong Kong shoes
What is up with all the peace signs though. Spread the love. Spread the peace. Spread the zen. Peace out.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Lately I've found myself re-visiting my childhood again. I don't mean taking another trip down memory lane (which, trust me, I do much more often than what is considered a healthy amount), I mean actually physically re-visiting places from my childhood.

It's the strangest feeling, going back to someplace that holds so many memories. In my case I've had to re-visit a location from my childhood, and you can just imagine how curious it was to be visiting for work purposes. I was hit with so much nostalgia that it was painful. It hurt. A lot.

I mean, I remember going to that place a lot when I was a kid. I remember having my ID picture taken in that one picture shop, and having donuts with my mom in the donut place right next to it. I remember always having a hotdog stick from the hotdog stand outside the now non-existent video rental place. I remember going to the supermarket and pushing those mini carts, and those times I'd rush to National Bookstore with my parents because I forgot to get something for school. I remember that in-mall amusement park arcade place, and the toy store outside that I would frequent. I remember watching Mulan for the first time in that movie theater. I remember having breakfast at Jollibee before what I believe was my ACET, but may easily be my UPCAT.

I remember visiting that computer shop to mooch internet a lot, and how the last time I was in the area (at least before these recent visits) was when I was a college freshman. A COLLEGE FRESHMAN. And now there I was, making a visit for work.

It felt so surreal, and also very sad. But maybe it was only sad because of my own feelings getting in the way, as they have been fogging my perception of things lately.

I hardly know what's going on with me anymore.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Hello. I am 22 years old now, and have been for over two weeks. My birthday was great and intimate and lovely.

I secretly have work to do, and I haven't done it, and I have to get up early tomorrow, but I'm still procrastinating like I usually do. I don't really know what to talk about -- I mean I have epic backlog, but I'm currently on another computer right now so access to my files is limited as of this post.

I've been in a really weird and emotional place for the past month or so. I feel like I've been nurturing so much negativity lately that I haven't been able to really enjoy life to the fullest, as cheesy as that sounds. It's not that I'm being ungrateful or anything, because I am definitely, definitely blessed and have SO many things to be grateful for, but I've been holding in so much resentment that there seems to be a perpetual thorn on my side. It's like #THESISIT... only this time it's so toxic that #THESISIT is already heaven-sent.

I'm happy, and okay, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm sad, but I've been generally very unhappy about a particular aspect of my life, and it has been consuming me.

I know where the root of all this negativity stems from, but it's not something I can cut off so easily. It's a part of ~*~growing up~*~ that I need to deal with, but I really cannot wait to be rid of this weight on my shoulders already.

Maybe I'm in the process of finding myself. Whatever it is, I want a revamp.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Life update as of 052014

1. It's four in the morning. I got up at 3am to work on something (read: cram). I hafta get up in three hours.

2. Real life has been consuming. I'm at that time of my life where I don't know where I'm going, and I'm struggling to just breathe and it's all so scary. I've been riding an emotional roller coaster (in fact, a meltdown took place just yesterday) and I've been so drained with everything. There's been a lot of self-reflecting lately. It's overwhelming.

Real life is real hard.

I really miss photography. I miss a lot of things. Lately, the simplicity of life a while back.

I don't get to vlog anymore because I don't have any footage. I don't get to read all my books that are sobbing for attention. Blogging is the least of my priorities, but I really do miss it. Most times, my spare time (minuscule as it is) is spent on sleep, the internets (of course) and occasionally video games.

3. Speaking of, I have a gaming blog with my friend Alex! It's a lot chattier than this personal blog and I've updated that more than this blog since my unofficial hiatus. I've always wanted to write about games (my obsession with video game magazines manifested in grade school) and I know I'm not good at it at ALL (or writing in general... cry) but it's been total fun. Sharing common interests with your favorite people is always time well spent.

4. I have dyke hair.

Okay, not really, but my haircut turned out much shorter than I planned. No biggie since this prolongs the lifespan of the cut, but I've had to dress to the extremes of either really girly or really ~*~manry~*~ because anything in between looks a bit off. I'm just glad I'll have a fringe after 983496734530 years. Growing out my last cut made me sick of my hair, and perhaps short hair in general, so I may or may not decide to grow my hair out again. This, however, may take another 9847569823752985 years.

5. I'm turning 22 on Friday. TGIF.

Sunday, March 23, 2014


SO. You may or may not have heard, but I finished Kingdom Hearts the other day. As in the first KH game. THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL OK BECAUSE I COULDN'T (or rather chose not to) GET PAST TRAVERSE TOWN THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME WHEN IT CAME OUT.

Let us recall the story of my KH beginnings. The very first time I had ever encountered Kingdom Hearts was in the game section of a K-Zone issue way back when. What first caught my eye was the art: there was a picture of a brown-haired boy being forced to smile by Disney's Donald and Goofy, along with an unknown redhead and a silver-haired guy at the back. Based on the article, I had deduced that this was a Square-Disney collaboration, which I thought was an epic idea because omg Disney and Final Fantasy omg excuse me while I salivate???

Fast forward some time later, and I was at Shang for mass. My parents and I were outside the toy store (which, I think, was still called Kidz Station back then) and I wanted to check out the video games. And then I saw Kingdom Hearts and screamed (loljk not rly) and I really, really wanted it. So we got it.

Except we didn't even have a PS2 at the time HAHAHAHA I was already content with just having a copy, as silly as that sounds. But eventually we did get a PS2, so you could say I got a PS2 because of KH.

Anyway, I remember getting all starry eyed as I watched the game's intro after my dad set up the PS2 for the first time. And then I remember getting intimidate by the first boss fight. Enter Traverse Town and I didn't want to leave the First District because I was so scared of failing LMAO It just came to a point when I stopped playing altogether.

Around 4 years (more or less, pls math) had passed when I got a hold of the sequel, and somehow I had miraculously finished that (albeit it took maybe a year because I'd always stop playing whenever I got stuck somewhere, haha) but still never managed to finish the first KH game because whenever I thought of the intro and Traverse Town, I'd just remember those feelings of intimidation and discouragement.

And theeeen a few years ago, I finally picked up the first KH game again. I was already a college student at the time, and no, I wasn't afraid anymore HAHAHA. The game really, really pissed me off though, because the controls were so wonky! AND THE FACT THAT MAPS DIDN'T EXIST WAS SUCH A HEADACHE OKKKK. Hollow Bastion was especially difficult without a map because it was so confusing. I ended up consulting a walkthrough during the entire Hollow Bastion playthrough because I'd always get lost. I ended up leaving the game indefinitely because I had to go back to Hollow Bastion again for the world's final boss fight, but I just wasn't up to putting myself through that headache again.

Then the HD remake came out, and I wasn't intending to get it at all, because I was like "BUT I JUST MADE MYSELF GO THROUGH HELL WITH THE PS2 ORIGINAL I DON'T WANNA DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN IT'LL BE AN HD HEADACHE" except lol I impulsively ended up buying it a good while after it was released.

I decided to make the PS3 file my walkthrough file, because there was no way I was gonna play the entire thing again all lost and confused. BUT ANYWAY I EVENTUALLY FINISHED IT AND IT WAS SO MAGICAL AND HISTORICAL BECAUSE KINGDOM HEARTS IS THE NUMBER ONE FANDOM IN MY LIFE AND FOR ME TO FINISH THE FIRST GAME IS A V E R Y BIG DEAL!!!!!!

Well, for me to finish ANY game is a big deal already, as you already know. I have a bad history of abandoning games so it's very rare for me to finish anything. (I mean, I made SUCH a big deal over Lightning Returns, and even pre-ordered and everything, but then I got stuck and haven't played the game in over a month since getting it...) All in good timing too, because I predict I'll be impossibly busy come April.

Things I would like to discuss:
• Boss battles in KH1 are a lot easier than KH2 boss battles. At least for me it was? I mean regardless of the walkthrough, even in my PS2 file I went through boss battles with relative ease, and for me to say that means the difficulty level isn't much because I'm easily intimidated by boss battles. The hardest bosses in KH1 were prolly Maleficent and the final boss. However, I feel like everything else in KH1 is a bit harder. For one, there aren't any maps. Two, there are a LOT of puzzles. Three, THESE GODDAMN CONTROLS ARE SO WONKY LIKE I CANNOT. I feel like the controls were improved in the HD remake, but there were still times when I just. No.

• How did I ever live my life with Dodge Roll?

• How did I ever live my life spamming just Curaga when Aeroga was always there waiting for me? (Srsly, towards the end of the game, I became very Aerora-dependent.)


I've also begun playing KH3D now, because I'm still on a KH high (when am I not?) and I am prolonging my feels because HOW DO I EVEN GO ON WITH MY LIFE NOW???!!!?

tl;dr this is another video game feels post, good day