Sad, and maybe a little nostalgic.
Back in the day (read: more than five years ago), I'd blog really, really random things. Sometimes they were short, 'emotional' drabbles, the kind that were vague and only made sense to the author. I've stopped making those kind of word vomit posts, but maybe only because of the conception of Plurk and Twitter. Back then, micro-blogging was never a thing.
But really, you can only say so much with 140 characters.
And then there's Tumblr, but I hardly ever use mine anymore, and I've never liked Tumblr as a blogging platform. Maybe as a source for nice imagery, but really, that's it. I did use to utilize it as a space for vague, nonsense posts (always accompanied with a photo though), thereby sparing my old blog of those kind of posts.
I think I really miss blogging that way though, before micro-blogging was a staple in social media.
These days, whenever I make a post, I share it on my social media accounts (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook) because... I don't really know. Maybe because I want my friends to see my posts, so I share it with them? I mean, I hardly have an audience, but I know a handful of friends who do drop by my blog from time to time, so sharing my posts is sort of like a notification, saying, "Hey, just letting you know there's a new post! Bye!" But then there are posts like this one, the kind of posts that are bound to be ignored for the lack of visuals, or because it's uninteresting, or some other reason. But it's personal. Much, much more personal. And I like that.
I want to keep posts like this here, on public and not private, even if I really don't know where I'm going with this. I almost never kept my brief and vague posts on private when I was on LiveJournal, unless I was intentionally passively-aggressively spiting someone, though that rarely happened.
I guess I just had this need to write my thoughts feelings at this very moment and have them chronicled, not so much out of living in the past (no matter how often I fall into that, I admit) but to remember this moment. I think that's what's great about blogging, or keeping a journal in general. Once you chronicle a moment in time, there's an archive of it to store it away somewhere, and somehow it helps me remember that moment much better. Sort of like taking a picture.
I want to remember the good, the bad, and the ugly, because I think I can pick myself up after learning from negativity.
Right now I feel all over the place. I feel a little sad, nostalgic, and troubled. I don't always wake up sad- I hardly ever do, really. So I don't know where this came from. Maybe it's hormones again. Go figure.
I do feel a little bit better though, having put this up.