Remember when

I don't know what drove me to do it (then again, I've always been a sentimental sap, and these episodes happen rather frequently), but I ended up going through my old blog posts, specifically the ones in my LJ. I've honestly noticed this for a while, actually: I feel like ever since moving to Blogspot, my posts have been less spontaneous and candid. Well, okay, I guess 'growing up' plays a role in this change, but seriously! My latter posts on LJ weren't as candid, but they seemed more personal.

idk maybe it's just me and I have a quiz for Psych tomorrow and I still haven't studied because I'm always like this on Friday nights whenever I have a quiz on Saturday kamon Ina

Whatever. I've already 'let loose' via my previous post AND IT'S GONNA GET LOOSER FROM NOW ON. that's what she said

Aww but really, I miss that old self of mine. I've concluded that college made me really stressed out and emotional (my old posts say so), but it was towards the newer LJ posts did my blogging begin to become kind of... scripted? Still kind of personal, but less than what it used to be before. At least that's what it felt like to me, and I'm someone who treats blogging as public diary-writing, not commercial profiting.

I'm not gonna force myself to go back to that (because that would be... posing...), but I AM gonna try being less, what, stiff (?) when it comes to blogging because I miss that more carefree, albeit younger and reckless and--

Dear Ina, for all you know, this 'change' could all be internal and nobody actually noticed it. Get out. I said GIT!

Also, my old image host hasn't been attended to by its owner/s, apparently, and all my photos from October 2009 and back are now missing. Good thing I only started using it June 2009, so that window doesn't have much, although now I'm afraid that sooner or later all my blog photos will disappear AND THAT'S THREE YEARS WORTH OF PHOTOS DISAPPEARING ON MY BLOGS. Not cool.

And just because I'm no longer used to blogging without any visuals, here is a photo of myself on the stairs. Taken during the habagat when I was a temporary orphan and lived in my sweater.

It is also worth noting that I had pancakes for merienda that day.

They were delish.

TEAM INA IS LEGIT NOW?!

lolno

Just figured I'd share this here before the month ends, because if this should be shared anywhere, it should be on my blog. Simply put, I have a tiny feature in the September issues of both Chalk and Meg magazine! It's so... surreal, and freaky, and strange. But I love it. I shared some sentiments over in this CS post, although I'd like to talk more about the day I grabbed myself copies of these issues.

This needs to be blogged okay. IT'S GOING IN THE BOOKS. WELCOME TO THE OPEN DIARY OF INA, ERRBADY.

So I saw a copy of the Chalk ish when I was in Powerbooks Shang, but didn't get it at first because I wasn't sure if it was the one with what I knew was supposed to have something about Cheapskateers and Andrea Ang's article. En route to Rockwell for some errands with Papa, I text Maronne, and she says yep, September ish's the one. So when we get to Rockwell I go to Fully Booked and grab a copy. While waiting for my dad I go through the pages looking for any semblance of my face (which sounds totly vain, I know, but Maronne told me there was only a quote and a minuscule photo of myself, so that was my basis) but I couldn't find the article. Then I start wondering, "WHAT IF MY ISSUE'S A DEFECT?" HAHAHAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT? So I text Maronne and she tells me the page, and TA-DAAAA I FOUND IT! I felt really giddy, seeing my face and, more importantly, my opinion!!! Isn't that magical? Andrea's inquiries regarding the article were SO interesting and a joy to answer. I rambled on and on and maybe even went off-topic from time to time, but I had a lot of fun answering her questions.

As for the Meg issue... I was on my way home, and it was a Friday (I only remember the day because Fridays are the only days where I have to take the MRT home; the other two school days I get picked up from Santolan station, either because it's late a.k.a. 9pm class, or it's a Saturday class) I was in Gateway and decided to give Fully Booked a shot for that Meg ish. I found it, but then I was reluctant to get it because I still wasn't sure of this was the ish with me innit (again, it sounds vain, but the only local magazine I really follow is Preview, and we all know how stingy I am so I didn't want to spend money unless I was really sure this was it). But whatever, I took the risk and bought it, and I was en route to the MRT when I decided to rip it open anyway. And then I found myself HAHAHA I LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF GATEWAY FLIPPING THROUGH THE PAGES OF MEG.

Oh gosh I must've sounded really vain and self-centered, but I promise you this was the first time I've ever been featured in a magazine, so this was a really big deal. And it just happened to be twice in a month... though that was just a coincidence since my Meg feature was initially supposed to be in August, but it got moved back.

I don't dress up for the attention (at least I think I don't -- for all I know I could be doing it subconsciously), rather I dress up as a form of self-expression and... art? I mean, if you look at it, outfits are like works of art too. It might seem superficial, this whole feature thing, but it's nice to be acknowledged sometimes. OKAY I SOUND LIKE AN ATTENTION WHORE BUT THAT'S REALLY NOT THE CASE LOL. I mean I've always felt like I've been overshadowed (but definitely not under-appreciated -- gosh that would make me seem like some ungrateful little--) with regards to acknowledgements in fashion. Okay, maybe not ALWAYS, but it's happened a lot. I won't elaborate much on that because I know when to withhold (enough) details on the internet else I be judged further and further into the depths of oblivion, but man it's happened several times over the years.

It's not so much that I crave attention, because like I said, when I dress up, attention isn't the case. It's just... that's just it, it's nice to be acknowledged sometimes, especially when I'm not even trying to garner any attention. For all I know this could be rooted back to my self-esteem issues all over again, I don't even know.

In fact I felt a little self-centered when I was plugging the features on Facebook, so that in turn made me feel a little awkward. IN FACT, THIS WHOLE POST IS MAKING ME FEEL AWKWARD, BUT IT'S HISTORICAL SO IT NEEDS TO BE ARCHIVED IN THE BLOG. Truthfully I also feel a little awkward when I pimp my CS posts on Facebook as well -- funny because I only started this whole 'fashion blogging' thing because Maronne wanted to venture into it with me, so I didn't really have any intentions of getting 'anywhere' (that's a very loose term) when we started Cheapskateers. I kind of still don't, because if I did then the whole CS blogging would be really superficial, inorganic and unauthentic. If anything I've actually enjoyed documenting and blogging about my outfits (the documenting part can be a PAIN at times though), because the blog provides a whole visual archive of the evolution our styles.

Not really sure where all that babbling came from, but the closest conclusion I could deduce was that maybe I'm way too self-conscious about this whole getting-featured-and-sharing-the-news thing, so I'm all defensive and have to say so many things in order to shed any form of what could be arrogance to some people. I don't want to come off as 'OH LOOK AT ME I'M IN A MAGAZINE' so I have to explain all my feels and crap. It matters because I don't want to have that kind of image, even if I'm just a little nobody on the internet. I've never liked tooting my own horn -- I swear, never. Growing up I was always reluctant to share or talk about my good fortune in fear of looking like I was bragging. Al. Ways. ALWAYS!

Regardless, thanks again to Andrea Ang and Elisa Aquino for the features! You really have no idea how much this matters to me -- unless you've reached this post, then you might just have an inkling of how much, lol.

Man I don't remember having blogged so much about my feels since my LJ days. Whatever, I'm going to get something to eat now.

Caleruega Round Two

Last week I went on another magical retreat (my second one this year), this time as a senior! Initially I wasn't too keen on going, mostly because it wasn't with my old block, and having said that, the retreat felt like it came much too early for something that was to be shared with my new block a.k.a. a bunch of people I'm not really close to. That, and it was for three days. Junior year retreat was just overnight, so we were all thinking, 'Why have a three-day retreat with these new people and not with the old blockmates instead?'

On some degree I think I was wrong. After the retreat I gained a newfound appreciation for my new block, and found that maybe there was a reason as to why this retreat came early. I'd like to think the retreat brought us together in some way. Granted, they will never be able to replace my old block, and I'll alwaysalwaysalways prefer my old block (blatant favoritism, wazzap), but now I've just really appreciated them more.

The first few weeks of senior year were hard. For the first two I'd remember always tearing up when I'd see a big number of my old blockmates. That's not the case anymore, but I'll always miss my old block. It's also been hard because in my current block, I've only got one old blockmate, and we aren't even close. You can tell I took our de-blocking very hard.

I thought I was probably going to keep to myself and my old blockmates from other sections during the retreat (instead of sitting with my current blockmates) -- okay, we actually did keep to ourselves, BUT ONLY BECAUSE WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE. Whenever there'd be group activities that would force us with our current blocks, I'd get significantly bummed, but afterwards I'd be all up and chipper because the activities gave me a better understanding of my block.

I'd like to believe that there was a reason why the retreat was placed early. (Secretly, there probably wasn't a reason and the office was prolly just trying to fit our scheds, but wtvr let's try and put some dramu into this post.) It was fun, this retreat. At least it was for me.

And the palancas! Ohmyglob thanks so much to everyone who spared some time to make me a little something! It was so touching and inspiring. I never even knew my favorite people saw me in that kind of light, really. I'm glad some were really honest with me too; I've come up with a resolution to be less... less of a friendly-bully and more of a friendly-friend LOL. Apparently I'm more sarcastic than I'm aware I am and more frank than I think I am. Wow. I'm having a hard time trying to be significantly nicer though, because the line between what people might consider 'bully' and what I know to be 'sarcasm' is pretty blurred.

Anyway, I didn't take much pictures, mostly because I did a lot of that back in March during my junior retreat. This time I opted for a vlog instead! (Which mostly depicts my time with my old blockmates, than anything, but wtvr.)



I miss Caleruega. I miss AD2 even more.

The Neutral Challenge

A couple of nights ago I was texting Terry about this beauty blogger whom I think is adorbs but I'm kinda put off by the fact that she's not daring at all. She doesn't welcome colors when it comes to makeup and instead stays in the safe zone with neutrals. So Terry challenged me to create a neutral makeup look, especially since I'm Colorful-chan HAHA. Naturally, I was all CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Last night I asked Terry if the neutral look had to include the lips, and she said yes, so I obliged. YOU ASK FOR NEUTRAL, I'LL GIVE YOU NEUTRAL.

I'LL GIVE YOU BLACK LIPS, THAT'S WHAT. HAHAHAHAHA in my defense, blacks and whites are considered 'neutrals'. One of my professors even said black and white aren't colors, they're... shades? Tints? LOLJK IDK WHAT HE SAID I ONLY REMEMBER HIM SAYING THEY AREN'T COLORS

I really wanted to incorporate black lips into this look because it went so well with my OOTD, and I didn't want to blog about creating a makeup look and not actually wearing it out. (For the record, I went out with my Lady Rainicorn look on -- my dad asked me if I wanted to go to Eastwood out of the blue immediately after photographing myself that day, lol.) Also, it added that extra UNF to an otherwise completely neutral look. Well, completely neutral looks aren't bad; in fact I've done them before. The black lips just added more attitude to my outfit!

So for the eyes I placed a brown eyeshadow a few shades darker than my skin tone all over the eyelid, then a shimmery cream color in the center. Then I used a brown-taupe color into the crease for better blending and transition, then a deeper brown in the outer-V for more depth. Then I placed some brown eyeliner as close as possible to the lashline (except I kindov overlapped haha oh well) and set that with the same deep brown I used in the outer-V. Same brown-pencil-with-shadow on about a third of the lower lashline. Added some gold shimmery eyeliner topped with shadow for some extra ~*~sparkle~*~ Then some mascara to finish it off!

For my cheeks I wore a mauve-y blush mixed with a peach-ish shade, but you can't really tell in the photos. If you did, then I must've worn way too much in real life LOL. Then some black lips, as you can see.

Haha, that was fun. BRING IT ON, TERRY. =))

Sleeveless in Seattle

I've never been in Seattle though, or out of the country, for that matter. I was only sleeveless in Shangri-La mall, ahahaha...

Moving on! I just got back from my senior year retreat yesterday! Secretly missing Caleruega already because of the chill vibes and even chillier weather. I'll save that for a separate post to go under the 'all my feels' tag. But to the point of this post: I wore sleeveless in public last weekend. Like, legit public, not the kind where you go to a cheap place our out with the family or someplace where you came from the beach.

I went sleeveless in Shang!!! THAT'S AS LEGIT AS IT GETS. This is a big deal that needs to be blogged because I NEVER wear sleeveless in public. Simply because I have big arms; I'm fat to begin with, but I also inherited the big arm genes in the family. This is also why I have mastered the art of layering.

LOLJK I wouldn't say that, but I've definitely always worn something under a sleeveless number. Even if the sleeves were sheer, they'd still give me the comfort that my arms are covered. SLEEVES ARE INA'S BEST FRIENDOS! Lately I've been more open to wearing sleeveless stuff (by lately I guess I only meant last weekend?), but that would depend on the place and time.

Thrifted (?) dress, Nomad shoes, Thrifted purse

This is what I called 'the morning after' outfit, because it was the outfit I wore the day after Krista's party, hence the same shoes and accessories from this post. I slept over at Krista's the night of her party and thought I'd be too lazy to dress up the morning after, like how I usually am post-sleepovers.

I think my tattoos play a role in my being open to wearing sleeveless crap. I love my tattoos man, so of course I'd want to show them off every once in a while. Kamon, it's like buying new clothes and wanting to wear them out.

Like I said, my wearing sleeveless stuff in public would depend. Like, I definitely wouldn't wear sleeveless to a get together with friends. I DID wear a tank top to an out-of-town trip with my favorite people, but mostly because Jam requested it and I owed her a lot since it was the day after the TBS concert. (Nevertheless, I ended up pulling that petticoat I wore on top down to my skirt later on during Krista's party, mostly because it was dark and I was like K IDGAF ANYMORE and also because I was looking after drunk!Krista and it was hard pulling vomiting!Krista to the couch HAHAHA)

After an afternoon of errands with Papa, it got too hot so I changed into some shorts. Wore this also in Shang and LOOK I'VE GOT A PATCH ON MY KNEE! As I mentioned in my CS post, I fell while taking some friends to their ride. I ended up with ripped tights and a scraped knee. I was actually amused at first though, 'cause the last time I ever wounded my knee was when I was a kid.

My cousin joked that it would've been better if I fell drunk, BUT NOOOO I FELL WHEN I WAS SOBER. And I was even holding on to Terry when I fell, for crying out loud. Double-u-tee-eff.

This is what it looks like now. I'm scared it'll scar over, but it can't be helped. The band-aid on my left knee was for a small scratch from my fall. It was super hard getting the gauze off my scraped knee 'cause the pus dried up and the gauze stuck and OMGITHURT. After I finally removed it last night and  cleaned it, it's just been stinging. Not that the stinging ever went away, but I was doing pretty good during my retreat. Now I'm just reduced to limping again.

This was when my arm disappeared.

The whole sleeveless thing might seem shallow to some, but it's a big deal for me because my apprehension towards it stems from my self-esteem issues. YEP, KID HAS 'EM. I couldn't even have the nerve to wear shorts or short skirts without tights underneath when I was in high school. Growing up I was a shy kid (severely shy; I'd cry if I were forced to speak in front of a good number of people) and my insecurity plus lack of self-esteem were at its lowest around 2005. Oh man that year my insecurities weren't even on physical attributes. I broke out of my shell come college though, and now I'm equal parts introvert and extrovert. I've been trying to work on my self-esteem issues since 2011-ish though, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Sigh. Maybe I'll get there eventually? Baby steps, Ina. Baby steps.

Gifts From the Fairy Godmother of Hong Kong (and The Wallet)

I mentioned in this post that a relative from Hong Kong recently stopped by for a visit with magical gifts! Here I share more of those gifts because I'm a greedy brat who hoards for a living.

A really awesome bright orange lippy! I've tried it on my lips and gosh does it look pretty.

Sparkly eyeshadow! I know there's a local brand (maybe it's Fashion 21? Nichido? Ever Bilena?) with the exact same packaging as this one. I tried one before but it was so messy for some reason. This one didn't spill over or anything though.

The color payoff's okay, but still build-able. I figure it might look pretty for the inner corners or maybe as a top sheen to the center of the lids.

My fairy godmother also gifted me with some Rilakkuma goodies! AAAHHHHH.

Some H&M stuff that have made an appearance here and here. Some of the studs are missing 'cause I'm already wearing them. Also, those gold hoops are secretly heavy.

One Friday night I had to study for a Math exam and a Psych report for the next day. The fact that I had to study for a MATH EXAM that was to take place on a SATURDAY MORNING drove me nuts -- so nuts that I ended up drinking coffee (!) from my camera lens.

Obviously joking. Fairy godmother also gots me a lens tumbler! (Fact: I initially spelled 'tumbler' as 'tumblr' omg.) And yeah you read right, I drank coffee. COFFEE. Okay it was some vanilla latte type, and I mixed in a lot of milk, but it was legit coffee (or the most legit that I can get). I had never been able to finish a cup of any type of coffee (save for one that was... chocolate-coffee or something that tasted more chocolate than coffee) but I managed to chug down all of this to keep me going until about 5am. Since I had never had a cup of 'real' coffee I don't really know what to say about this vanilla one, and I couldn't tell if my best friend Bacchus did a better job at keeping me awake or not. Since I have this coffee on hand, it'll have to do for now.

Here's something I got with my own moola. Alice Madness Returns is a direct sequel to the PC game American McGee's Alice. Madness Returns was actually the game that made me want a PS3 in the first place; prior to that I just thought the PS3 had some really swanky graphics. Ironically, the first game I bought was Final Fantasy XIII, mostly out of the influence of my cousin and the fact that it was cheaper. (My emotional attachment to the game is proof that I do not regret that decision at all.)  When I saw that MR's price dropped a notch, I started considering buying it. Then the next time I saw it, it dropped another hundred or two pesos more. I figured it was a sign so I bought it.

I DUNNO WHY I DID THOUGH LOL 'cause I mean, it's not like I've the time to play much. Plus, I've seen so much gameplay on YouTube that it already feels like I've played it for myself. Add to the fact that watching a rather creepy game versus actually playing the game is still different. So... okay, I had some mild regrets with the purchase, mostly because of #THESISIT reasons ("The money could've been used for #THESISHIT!") but... I figured better get it now before it disappears. MR is SUCH a beautiful game, too. I got ahold of the art book and my eyes bled in the pretty.

I remember seeing the original American McGee Alice game for the PC as a kid. I remember it interested me but I knew I'd never be able to play it because it was scary and I've always been a wuss HAHA. As a kid I always liked looking at videotape/dvd/video game packages and reading about it, even if I knew I'd never watch/play it. Apparently I was a masochist even as a kid, and I took that with me until now -- I LOVE watching people play scary video games, but I can never manage to play them. Except Fatal Frame. However, I've steered clear of any scary movies ever since The Ring came out and the whole Asian horror flick scene blew up because after seeing that film, I found that I became overtly paranoid for the next two weeks or so whenever I see a scary flick. My mind is an overdrive monster.

Seriously though. I love watching people play creepy video games. I don't know why. One summer during high school was spent watching Resident Evil 4 speed plays and I was just screaming at my computer screen, alone in my room. It's an unhealthy obsession and I love it.

A bunch of back issues that I've accumulated in the last two weeks. I remember freaking out when that Shirley Manson Nylon ish came out so I freaked out even more when I found a back issue. The Lily Collins one was cheaper but omg I think this chick is adorable and I secretly wanted to see Mirror, Mirror.

I've also been really lucky with my Electronic Gaming Monthly finds. I have found not one, but THREE EGM issues in two weeks! AND ALL BACK ISSUES SO THEY'RE DIRT CHEAP. Remember when I freaked out when I picked up an EGM back issue copy in this post and how I mention how I used to have so many gaming magazines a few years ago? Omg I miss those days. Gaming magazines give me SO. MUCH. HAPPINESS. I've not even a hardcore gamer; I'm just... a casual gamer? A selective gamer? A wuss gamer? Oh wait, I've got it. I'm a...










LAMER GAMER.

HAHAHAHAHAHA it sounds so fitting. I love video games but I suck at so many of them (case in point: TEKKEN) so lamer gamer is perfect. But seriously man, gaming magazines make me so happy. EGM especially because I'm so familiar with it. I wish I could find a back issue of GameNow one of these days. And I've seriously got to unearth all my old issues from way back when. I thought they all went missing but I found out they've just been residing at our old house, thank goodness.

Lamer Gamer. Omg. I can't get over the perfection of this spontaneous term. I'm a lamer gamer and I'm proud of it HAHAHAHAHA.

Let's Play Chinese Garter

Another outfit post -- this time with a Miso cameo! This is what I wore earlier today -- well, yesterday, since it's already midnight -- for mass and dinner with Papa. I was another one of those lazy days where I pull out a dress to wear because I'm too lazy to produce a better outfit, and even lazier to document it properly. GIFs make everything better.

Thrifted dress, Market! Market! tiangge shoes

Magical shoes are magical.

Forever 21 earrings, Oxygen ring

... and a random beaded bracelet I found lying in my room.

Besides the fact that this is a long dress (and we all know my permanent love affair with long hemlines), what also caught my attention was its collar detail and how reminiscent it is to that of Chinese garments.

On that note, I've always sucked at Chinese garter. I could only do level 1, struggle with level 2, and nothing at level 3 and beyond.

And a two thumbs up for newly dyed hair! My roots have been showing like a pregnant lady on her 7th month and I finally got to re-dye them today. Also, LOOK AT THAT HAIR LENGTH. My hair has been growing at a steady pace ever since I cut it in April. Pleased Ina is pleased... because DAEYM my hair took forever to grow when it was all layered. But I regret nothing. Layered hair will always be my favorite and my comfort zone.