TEAM INA IS LEGIT NOW?!

lolno

Just figured I'd share this here before the month ends, because if this should be shared anywhere, it should be on my blog. Simply put, I have a tiny feature in the September issues of both Chalk and Meg magazine! It's so... surreal, and freaky, and strange. But I love it. I shared some sentiments over in this CS post, although I'd like to talk more about the day I grabbed myself copies of these issues.

This needs to be blogged okay. IT'S GOING IN THE BOOKS. WELCOME TO THE OPEN DIARY OF INA, ERRBADY.

So I saw a copy of the Chalk ish when I was in Powerbooks Shang, but didn't get it at first because I wasn't sure if it was the one with what I knew was supposed to have something about Cheapskateers and Andrea Ang's article. En route to Rockwell for some errands with Papa, I text Maronne, and she says yep, September ish's the one. So when we get to Rockwell I go to Fully Booked and grab a copy. While waiting for my dad I go through the pages looking for any semblance of my face (which sounds totly vain, I know, but Maronne told me there was only a quote and a minuscule photo of myself, so that was my basis) but I couldn't find the article. Then I start wondering, "WHAT IF MY ISSUE'S A DEFECT?" HAHAHAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT? So I text Maronne and she tells me the page, and TA-DAAAA I FOUND IT! I felt really giddy, seeing my face and, more importantly, my opinion!!! Isn't that magical? Andrea's inquiries regarding the article were SO interesting and a joy to answer. I rambled on and on and maybe even went off-topic from time to time, but I had a lot of fun answering her questions.

As for the Meg issue... I was on my way home, and it was a Friday (I only remember the day because Fridays are the only days where I have to take the MRT home; the other two school days I get picked up from Santolan station, either because it's late a.k.a. 9pm class, or it's a Saturday class) I was in Gateway and decided to give Fully Booked a shot for that Meg ish. I found it, but then I was reluctant to get it because I still wasn't sure of this was the ish with me innit (again, it sounds vain, but the only local magazine I really follow is Preview, and we all know how stingy I am so I didn't want to spend money unless I was really sure this was it). But whatever, I took the risk and bought it, and I was en route to the MRT when I decided to rip it open anyway. And then I found myself HAHAHA I LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF GATEWAY FLIPPING THROUGH THE PAGES OF MEG.

Oh gosh I must've sounded really vain and self-centered, but I promise you this was the first time I've ever been featured in a magazine, so this was a really big deal. And it just happened to be twice in a month... though that was just a coincidence since my Meg feature was initially supposed to be in August, but it got moved back.

I don't dress up for the attention (at least I think I don't -- for all I know I could be doing it subconsciously), rather I dress up as a form of self-expression and... art? I mean, if you look at it, outfits are like works of art too. It might seem superficial, this whole feature thing, but it's nice to be acknowledged sometimes. OKAY I SOUND LIKE AN ATTENTION WHORE BUT THAT'S REALLY NOT THE CASE LOL. I mean I've always felt like I've been overshadowed (but definitely not under-appreciated -- gosh that would make me seem like some ungrateful little--) with regards to acknowledgements in fashion. Okay, maybe not ALWAYS, but it's happened a lot. I won't elaborate much on that because I know when to withhold (enough) details on the internet else I be judged further and further into the depths of oblivion, but man it's happened several times over the years.

It's not so much that I crave attention, because like I said, when I dress up, attention isn't the case. It's just... that's just it, it's nice to be acknowledged sometimes, especially when I'm not even trying to garner any attention. For all I know this could be rooted back to my self-esteem issues all over again, I don't even know.

In fact I felt a little self-centered when I was plugging the features on Facebook, so that in turn made me feel a little awkward. IN FACT, THIS WHOLE POST IS MAKING ME FEEL AWKWARD, BUT IT'S HISTORICAL SO IT NEEDS TO BE ARCHIVED IN THE BLOG. Truthfully I also feel a little awkward when I pimp my CS posts on Facebook as well -- funny because I only started this whole 'fashion blogging' thing because Maronne wanted to venture into it with me, so I didn't really have any intentions of getting 'anywhere' (that's a very loose term) when we started Cheapskateers. I kind of still don't, because if I did then the whole CS blogging would be really superficial, inorganic and unauthentic. If anything I've actually enjoyed documenting and blogging about my outfits (the documenting part can be a PAIN at times though), because the blog provides a whole visual archive of the evolution our styles.

Not really sure where all that babbling came from, but the closest conclusion I could deduce was that maybe I'm way too self-conscious about this whole getting-featured-and-sharing-the-news thing, so I'm all defensive and have to say so many things in order to shed any form of what could be arrogance to some people. I don't want to come off as 'OH LOOK AT ME I'M IN A MAGAZINE' so I have to explain all my feels and crap. It matters because I don't want to have that kind of image, even if I'm just a little nobody on the internet. I've never liked tooting my own horn -- I swear, never. Growing up I was always reluctant to share or talk about my good fortune in fear of looking like I was bragging. Al. Ways. ALWAYS!

Regardless, thanks again to Andrea Ang and Elisa Aquino for the features! You really have no idea how much this matters to me -- unless you've reached this post, then you might just have an inkling of how much, lol.

Man I don't remember having blogged so much about my feels since my LJ days. Whatever, I'm going to get something to eat now.