I woke up feeling sad today.

Sad, and maybe a little nostalgic.

Back in the day (read: more than five years ago), I'd blog really, really random things. Sometimes they were short, 'emotional' drabbles, the kind that were vague and only made sense to the author. I've stopped making those kind of word vomit posts, but maybe only because of the conception of Plurk and Twitter. Back then, micro-blogging was never a thing.

But really, you can only say so much with 140 characters.

And then there's Tumblr, but I hardly ever use mine anymore, and I've never liked Tumblr as a blogging platform. Maybe as a source for nice imagery, but really, that's it. I did use to utilize it as a space for vague, nonsense posts (always accompanied with a photo though), thereby sparing my old blog of those kind of posts.

I think I really miss blogging that way though, before micro-blogging was a staple in social media.

These days, whenever I make a post, I share it on my social media accounts (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook) because... I don't really know. Maybe because I want my friends to see my posts, so I share it with them? I mean, I hardly have an audience, but I know a handful of friends who do drop by my blog from time to time, so sharing my posts is sort of like a notification, saying, "Hey, just letting you know there's a new post! Bye!" But then there are posts like this one, the kind of posts that are bound to be ignored for the lack of visuals, or because it's uninteresting, or some other reason. But it's personal. Much, much more personal. And I like that.

I want to keep posts like this here, on public and not private, even if I really don't know where I'm going with this. I almost never kept my brief and vague posts on private when I was on LiveJournal, unless I was intentionally passively-aggressively spiting someone, though that rarely happened.

I guess I just had this need to write my thoughts feelings at this very moment and have them chronicled, not so much out of living in the past (no matter how often I fall into that, I admit) but to remember this moment. I think that's what's great about blogging, or keeping a journal in general. Once you chronicle a moment in time, there's an archive of it to store it away somewhere, and somehow it helps me remember that moment much better. Sort of like taking a picture.

I want to remember the good, the bad, and the ugly, because I think I can pick myself up after learning from negativity.

Right now I feel all over the place. I feel a little sad, nostalgic, and troubled. I don't always wake up sad- I hardly ever do, really. So I don't know where this came from. Maybe it's hormones again. Go figure.

I do feel a little bit better though, having put this up.

Town of Cats

Zara Man top, Linea Italia skirt

Warning: the photos that follow may or may not become weirder as you progress through this post. Also, this was named after the Town of Cats story from Haruki Murakami's 1Q84. Reading about it in the book reminded me of the Ghibli film called The Cat Returns, but I have yet to actually see it. I've only seen a handful of Ghibli, really.

Hello! I haven't 'properly' taken any outfit shots lately, because I've been really lazy, and well it was a nice break, not being in front of the camera. A really, really nice break. But I missed documenting my outfits, and actually one of the reasons why I stopped was because I've been lazy-dressing lately, so a lot of my outfits weren't really document-worthy.

Anyway, I wore this last Sunday, and I was going for some ~*~Parisian chic~*~ again ahahaha. I guess it translated well enough, because my mom commented that I looked "very French" even if my skirt could pass as a school uniform counterpart. It's a really old skirt we got on sale years ago, and I've always called it my uniform skirt.

You know, I bet it was the stripes and hat that made the outfit look remotely 'French.' I mean, those are like, classic-generic-poster-child France archetypes. Oh, and bagels.

Topshop socks, Forever 21 shoes

American Surplus bag

I prolly have way too much cat stuff as it is, but when does one ever have too much cat things? I got this from the surplus shop in Pampanga my sister took us to (you can see snippets here) and... what else can I say about it? Tapestry cats. Perfection.

Apostrophe/from Hong Kong necklaces

Hey, Tofu. Wassap, Tofu. Ur cool, Tofu.

Forever 21/Marc by Marc Jacobs (gifted!!!!!) rings

Lol gaiz I have a ~*~Marc by Marc Jacobs~*~ ring, am I legit yet. Hahahaha lemme tell you it was a Christmas gift from one of my aunts, and man was it an unexpected gift. Like, really. I didn't even ask for it. When you move it around, all the flowers attached jiggle and it's fun and-

I should've prolly just filmed this outfit, so that you can see what I'm talking about, but too bad, I didn't have enough time to film this. Anyway, this ring is cool. I have cool aunts. (Thanks Tita Lisa!)

Mich Dulce x Bench hat

I'm telling you, it was the hat. And the stripes. Betcha this coulda been considered as one of those last minute go-to Halloween costumes. "Oh look, I'm wearing stripes! And this hat! I have a bagel with me too! Can you guess what I am?"

Dunno if you can tell, but my earrings are seahorses. You're probably too distracted by Tofu's heads to notice though.

The Totally-Irrelevant-But-I'm-Gonna-Blog-About-It-Anyway Christmas Eve 2013 Outfit Post

(That post title is a mouthful.) I'm not sure why I put off making this post for so long, and it's already February, but I figured, hey, it's something I wanna chronicle on my blog because it's something I wanna look back on, so why not post it even if it's already that time of the year when Christmas has already been succeeded by Valentine's Day.

Cotton On dress, Janilyn shoes

My mom and I found this dress on sale some time last year, and we both agreed that it would be my Christmas dress. There's something so regal about velvet, especially in this equally-regal emerald shade.

Vintage/Monki bracelets

H&M ...what do you call this? Earring thing? Ear-something?

These shoes though. Man, were they hard to walk in. Like, seriously, I had to watch myself in these. They were a bit painful to walk in, and so I concluded that they would be strictly for cocktail-like events. But when am I ever at those kind of gatherings?

Forever 21 necklaces

I haven't been blogging about my outfits lately, simply because I've been L A Z Y hahaha. I photographed and filmed one in December, but I never got around to editing it because I wasn't sure if I really wanted to put it up anymore. Maybe I will, one of these days, but I might scrap the video because it doesn't really feel like the kind of outfit I would dedicate time to make a video for, y'know?

This morning I felt kind of lousy, and I moped in bed for a good hour or two trying to decide what I wanted to do today. I wasn't in the mood to continue reading my book, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to play a video game, and getting on my laptop just seemed like a very unsavory prospect.

It was a weird morning. In the end, I went downstairs to our living room, picked up my book again, and read a couple of chapters. Then, riding on the encouragement of Alex, I picked up Kingdom Hearts again. It was between KH and Lightning Returns, but I wasn't really up to playing LR again just yet (because I've decided to restart on Easy Mode because I SUCK), but on the other hand, I left KH just before I had to go to Wonderland, and the last time I did that, I ended up nursing a headache. But I finished up the Wonderland chapter anyway, just before lunch.

And now I'm on the internet again, blogging about this. It's just a very off day, I guess.

toilettereads: The comfort of kitchens and cats and other stories

There's something about me that you need to know, and that's the fact that I have hoarding tendencies. PFFT betcha you already knew that, so this is totes old news.

But anyway. Usually, towards the end of the year, I end up hoarding a lot of books, mostly thanks to Christmas money. Except this time, for some ungodly reason, the hoarding has not stopped. It's already February, and my pile of unread books has just grown. I won't disclose just how many, but it's probably enough to last me the year (or over.)

I'm pretty sure I've been hoarding books a lot now because of my long struggle in finding a copy of Battle Royale some time ago. (Long story short: I found a copy of the book, didn't get it because it was damaged, struggled to find another copy for the next 9 months. THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S BEEN AN ABUNDANCE EVER SINCE HUNGER GAMES WEEP.) Something similar happened a while later with Parasite Eve, and while it wasn't as severe, both instances have probably already left me scarred. Ever since then, I always think I might regret not buying a book once it has caught my interest because I may never see it again. So sums up my book hoarding.

That, and there's just something so comforting about being surrounded by books. I've had to make a conscious effort to stop myself from entering book stores now because I am SO BROKE AND I BECOME EVEN BROKER AFTER STEPPING INSIDE A BOOKSTORE. It is horribru.

One of my resolutions is to finish at least two books a month. That number may or may not be pushing it, depending on my own availability (because, for all I know, I may not have as much time for recreational reading as I think I do), but it's a start. Once upon a time I read with so much fervor, but somewhere down the road of high school, that flame flickered and I became lazy for some reason. As much as I want to get back into the groove of reading without any hiccups, I've just become much more distracted over the years, so this resolution is my attempt at focusing more on my stack of books than, say, the internet. (As of this post, I haven't been doing a very good job.)

Honeymoon and Other Stories was a fast read. I don't hold any special feelings for it, but I guess it's a good companion for killing time, like most short story collections. I think I just have a natural inclination towards short stories, as they're an easy read. There wasn't anything special about this book though; I mean, none of the stories particularly struck me with EUREKA or anything I could emotionally invest myself to.

I've always heard of Banana Yoshimoto, and I think I saw a copy of one of her books here once, but I never really tried her out until I found this in Hong Kong from my last trip. Now that I think about it, I hardly ever see any Banana Yoshimoto books here anymore. Kitchen is her first book, and it has a lot of themes of coping with the death of a loved one and seeking comfort in those who share your pain. I wanna try out more Banana Yoshimoto, but the thing is finding another book of hers here is pretty rare.

Is my cat lady showing yet? The Cats of Moon Cottage is about a feline-loving couple and how their older cat adapts to their latest kitten. I was practically crying towards the end of the book because of what happened, and it made me want to give Tofu a really big hug, except he was hiding elsewhere in the house. I sort of cheated with counting this one in the January pile because I started reading it last November, but I didn't take it with me when I went traveling so I only got to finish it last month.

I think sharing what you read to the world is similar to having your iTunes library out in the open: both collections say a lot about you, I guess. I dunno what kind of person my iTunes makes me though as it's mostly Japanese with a side of Korean and just a cup full of English.

Anyway, I dunno, letting people in on what you read feels like you're opening up yourself to a lot of scrutiny. I mean, like music elitists who take a glimpse at your iTunes and sneer at your taste (or in my case, lack thereof) in music, letting people know what you read almost feels like informing them of your intelligence level and reading capabilities. I dunno. I used to read a LOT of chicklit when I was younger, so does that say something about myself? I like children's books; does that make me immature? I have this unhealthy obsession with reading books by Japanese authors/books set in Japan; does that make me a... wait what does that even make me?

Actually, I really don't know where I'm getting at here HAHAHA. I'm taking steps towards trying to make myself more literate (I promise I'm a lot smarter than what my Twitter sounds like); my vocabulary is hardly what one would consider broad, and that makes me disappointed in myself sometimes. Also, whenever I try to go all ~*~srs bznz~*~ in my blog posts, I tend to make a u-turn and go all derpy and sarcastic again. I guess it's just not in my 'blogging personality,' so to say, to be all dramatic-sounding with inspirational words that get your minds all tingly. I guess I'm just more casual when it comes to blogging and stuff, as I've always been over the years. No biggie. I like my 'blogging voice' as it is SHRUG SHRUG TL;DR I HOARD BOOKS AND IMMA SHARE WHAT I'VE BEEN READING LATELY!!!!!

Avic

Last week, Alex slept over for some video gaming madness, but we also made time for a simple shoot. I hadn't shot anything in so long (my last shoot might've even been Fast (Food) and the Furious) so I was getting pretty rusty. I just did some simple portraiture practice, so it's nothing really fancy.

Welp what else am I supposed to say other than WOW YOUR FACE. Thanks again, Alex! Love you!

January 2014

I kindasortamaybe can't believe sometimes how it's already been a year since my first monthly vlog. January last year I was still panicking over #THESIS, man. I'm surprised that I've even held out this long with vlogs, to be honest, but I'm glad I've been soldiering on!

January was my final trip to Hong Kong. As usual I'll be keeping photos from my HK trips separate, but in the video you get to see some snippets of Sino Centre and that time I met up with my friend Pam. Watching this vlog makes me a little sad sometimes because it makes me miss Hong Kong, but then again, being the sentimental kid that I am, when am I not going to miss anything?

When we got back, my parents and I got to try out Yakitori One. (Hi Ana!) Noms.

I've been wanting to try out Toast Box since October, so my parents and I finally decided to try it out as well. It made me think of my jeogiyo Camille because anything Singapore reminds me of her. More noms.

Jam hosted the advanced screening of I, Frankenstein, and since being friends with her has its perks she was kind enough to take us along with her. Personally, the film's nothing great I guess (but I don't even watch movies to begin with, so...) You can skip it, but it was a joy to watch with my friends. All the crack.

Tintin the beloved.

Beau the accident.

I think Beau spilled some sauce or something on himself, so he went to the washroom and... this happened??!?

My sister now lives in Pampanga, so one weekend we paid her and her family a visit. She took us to this American surplus place which sold a bunch of random goodies, ranging from shoes to glass jars to old toys and so on.

Hardbound copy of Jane Eyre. The fact that it was a hard copy felt so legit with the yellowing pages LOL

90s PARTAAAAY

~*~How to bring sunshine into your nights~*~

A week after our I, Frankenstein date, we got to see Snowpiercer, again c/o Jam (thanks bb.) Lemme tell you man, Snowpiercer was INTENSE. Those mind-blowing plot twists at the end like I-I-I- GO WATCH IT IF YOU CAN PLS

One does not simply step inside a convenience store without mirror shots.

I think that last one was supposed to be our Snowpiercer face. But then Beau.

YEHET FOR GETTING THIS POST UP!

PGPS PTCP

Last December, my friends and I planned a Secret Santa thing/Christmas party. The whole shindig is referred to as "PGPS PTCP" meaning PGPS Plot Twist Christmas Party, because I had pitched the idea as a 'plot twist' since we barely get to see each other as it is.

Plot twist: the party pulled through. Even bigger plot twist: we were complete!

This red platter was sort of the 'placemat' for our actual plate, except Stephy being Stephy completely disregarded this little detail and went all ~*~rebel~*~ on us. Geez Stephy. GEEZ.

After eating, we played some games (Cards Against Humanity!) while waiting for the others to arrive. Later on, the exchange commenced and the secret santas were revealed.

You can see more of that in the video, plus a few other... things.

Beau and Terry were gifted with food sweaters, which we all concluded to be very hipster, so a ~*~hipster shoot~*~ was of course mandatory. (This first photo is a prelude to the ones coming up.)

AIN'T HIPSTER WITHOUT DEM TRIANGLES!!!!!!

I DON'T THINK UR READY FOR DIS HIPSTER JELLY!!!!!

CAN'T HANDLE MY HIPSTER!!!!!!!

Hipster realness with some Instax realness.

~*~normal~*~

~*~creepster norm~*~

Kids, get off your technology. It's rude.

We also played Pokemon charades! Though just first gen, since most of us can barely keep up as it is. Since the Trifecta (Beau, Billie, and Janelle) are the 'Pokemon veterans' of the group, we had to split them up. Janelle was made referee as she was the one who supplied the Pokemon choices, and the other two were made team leaders. It was Billie's team (which I was a part of) against Beau's, and I almost thought we would win because we had Alex with us, who is also an active Pokemon player, but then again the opposing team had Terry, one who could also hold their own in Pokemon knowledge. It was actually a close fight -- so close that we needed a tie breaker. In the end, Beau's team claimed victory.

Then more photos happened.

Propaganda 2014: Don't be a Jam. Don't be a coward.

#twinsies

Thanks again PGPS for the magical night! Thank you also to Alex for hosting because hot daeym your house is great for parties, lemme just say. Sorry the photos are so late; y'all know how I am WENK WONK