Friday, April 17, 2015

Dark Places

For lunch I had some slices of pizza and a hefty serving of thoughtful conversations with Jam. We don't get to talk a lot, and admittedly I don't usually run to her when I have problems. But out of all my friends, Jam is the one who truly understands what I've been going through these past odd months. I have people who hold my hand when I cry, who lend an ear when I need someone to just sit down and listen, but it's another story when you find someone who completely empathizes with your situation.

It's not about the support being shown or the person's presence in your life. The fact that they can understand something as complex as your feelings is invaluable. There's a connection that no one else can comprehend, and it's a connection you end up cherishing for the years to come.

Things have been rather bumpy in my personal life lately. There's this weird limbo I'm still struggling to get out of, and at times it can feel a little suffocating. Sometimes you feel so alone and helpless, and it's like no one really understands how you feel. Sometimes, these thoughts can push you towards the dark recesses of your mind. They'll drive you towards the isolating corners that ultimately hold you back from -- and this is going to be totally cheesy -- the pursuit of happiness.

It's a sick kind of comfort, knowing there is someone you love who is going through the same pain and trials as you are. There is a less twisted comfort in knowing you can be there for each other, trying to feel your way out of the black hole you've both been trapped in. You have to fall down to get back up; the fall itself has been quite an eye-opening ride, and the landing was rough and painful. Climbing my way back up is going to be another adventure -- one that will be a more humbling and less lonesome experience, because I know there are people who have the most generous of hands reaching out to pull me out of this dark place I'm in.

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