#THESISIT: Plaything

Plaything is what it is: the story of a plaything. It's about a doll (portrayed here by Janelle) who was set aside by her owner as an effect of adolescence. It's also about childhood memories and how some of them may be forgotten while growing up. All the shots in this shoot have a toy or some doll in the picture for a continuity in theme. I also used a lot of backlighting to sort of give a nostalgic sort of feel so as to go with the concept.

Janelle's another one of those subjects whose face makes it easy to consume hundreds of shots in one sitting. This shoot is one of my favorites from my thesis, right up there with Alex's shoot. I miiiiight've circulated the concept around her look, because really, Janelle's doll-like features were perfect for such a story.

This shoot has a special place in my heart for two reasons: one, because I have a doll from childhood that I always went to bed with. While the habit of going to bed with her has long gone, I still keep her around. (I remember watching Toy Story 2 as a kid and tearing up during Jessie's montage.) I'm easily a nostalgic person and I obsessively latch on to things that have sentimental value to me. (That being said, I have hoarder tendencies.) This might be the reason why I remember so many, albeit some of them very irrelevant, life moments but I'm horrible with information retainment when it comes to school.

The second reason why this shoot is special to me is because it was my last shoot with Haru-chuu, my 400D. Haru-chuu was my partner-in-photography-crime for a good five years (I actually got my new camera about a month shy of Haru-chuu's 5th birthday) and I learned so much with her in those 5 years. In those five years I documented so many school events, life happenings, and even got published for the first time. But because I exhausted her so much, she began to falter (I screwed up an assignment as an intern last year because of camera fluctuations.) That still didn't stop me though; I made do with what I had. On one hand I needed an upgrade, but on another I was like, "Hey, my camera's still not dead so s'all good." I will always love Haru-chuu. (THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH IS A TESTAMENT TO MY BEING A NOSTALGIC SAP WHO PUTS SO MUCH SENTIMENTAL VALUE IN THINGS HAHAHA)

Anyway, here are some outtakes that I didn't include in the thesis. This isn't even all of the outtakes, but the others that will never be posted were way too similar to some shots so it's not like you're missing out on anything.

You'd think I would've had this up sooner, considering all I have to do with these photos is resize them for my blog. BUT NOOOO, THE GAP BETWEEN THIS POST AND THE PREVIOUS ONE IS STILL TWO WEEKS. I have no excuse. I've just been lazy, and a lot of my time has been spent reacquainting myself with video games. KH1 in particular, as I never got past Traverse Town as a kid because... I was scared. BELIEVE IT. (I made it past Hollow Bastion now though, orange you proud?)

Thanks again Janelle for modeling! We don't frequently shoot together, but when we do it is always a joy. Thanks also to Stephy for making time to assist, even if it was just brief. LABYU GAIZ

#THESISIT: Unfinished Business

The title for this story is a little self-explanatory. It's basically about a lingering spirit wandering the land of the living because she has some unfinished business to take care of. What that business really is, well, I'll leave that as an open interpretation. The entire shoot was consistently photographed with this white cloth (which many must be sick of by now, because I've been using it in shoots for years!) because it actually symbolizes the unfinished business that is attached to the spirit, and because of it she cannot pass on into the light just yet.

The flowers used in this shoot were actually from the bouquet I had as a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding the night before the shoot. I brought it just in case, because you never know right?

Ana's shoot was actually the first thesis shoot that involved a helping hand, a.k.a. Carlos Rosales! He even made a BTS video which is omgwtfbbq so pretty YOU HAFTA WATCH IT OKAY!!! If only all my shoots had bts footage like this one. This is also what practically all of my shoots look like: me, the model, and a huge mess HAHAHAHA Thank you so much for all the help Carlos!

One of my favorite shots from the entire thesis was also from this shoot a.k.a. the cover shot!

Again, the following are some outtakes that I didn't include in the thesis, although this time it was mostly because the shots were already a little too similar to the others.

The thing about Ana's shoot is that it actually had one more set that was completely cut out of the study. I didn't include it because it didn't seem to fit well in the theme, which is kinda sad because we had to wait for nighttime to shoot, and we kind of struggled a bit to get some decent shots. It just didn't meet thesis quality, I suppose. Nevertheless, here are a few shots that I liked enough to share!

Thank you so much for always being game, Ana. :") And thank you for all the help, Carlos!!!

#THESISIT: The Public's Image

The Public's Image is the story of a girl living up to society's expectations of her. She is oppressed by what the public wants from her, but in reality seeks to live out her own ideals and image. Despite having sought out her freedom, she still cannot fully break away from the influences of society that have trapped her.

In a way you could say this is about non-conformity within a society, and the struggles of surfacing one's individuality in a sea of similarities and constant comparisons.

There was something I didn't notice until I was done with thesis altogether, and it was something Maronne pointed out. That is: most of my shoots took place in the living quarters of the model HAHAHAHA. This is what happens when you're pressed for time and adjusting to other people's schedules. MAKE DO WITH WHAT YOU HAVE Y'ALL! That being said, you might find the areas in this shoot to be very familiar if you've been following my work since, I dunno, high school.

I remember as a college freshman looking in awe at the then-seniors' best thesis exhibit, and thinking, "I'm definitely going to pursue photography as my thesis." I remember asking Maronne if she could model for me when that time comes. The time has now come and gone, and it's a little overwhelming to think how fast (and stressful, stressful is a permanent word attached to thesis) it all happened. One minute I'm thinking about my future thesis, and the next I'm blogging about the already-finished thesis. Wow.

Maronne was my first ever model when I first started shooting. Looking back, I'm not really sure how that shoot was prompted (Maybe I needed something for the photography club I was in? Idek anymore.), but it launched a spiral of many future shoots ahead. It's amazing to see how much we've both grown -- not just individually as artists, but even together as friends -- and I know she's going to go places. I'm so excited for her life. ;__;

The pink wig shots are a little Just Be Friends-esque, but that's not a problem to me. There are some outtakes in this post, and the photographs that follow are the ones that didn't make the cut. My thesis adviser actually commented on one shot, asking about the relevance of this detail and that detail to the concept. While I was able to justify them, I did get scared and decided to just scrap it from the thesis altogether LOL. After the comment, however, I did become much more wary and conscious of little details in my shoots, and until now I find myself scrutinizing various details in a photograph and all that jazz.

It just makes me cringe at all my other older works though.

Thank you for being my forever model, Maronne! <3